Parker, like many children, has some seemingly unhealthy but normal attachments to random items he’s come to love. Number one, of course, being that evil stinky Boppy, #2 being his thumb, and #3 his snuggler… in order to sleep peacefully he MUST have all 3 of those. There are no exceptions… and as much as I loathe the combination of the 3 and how inconvenient and dumb the whole thing is, he’s a little kid, and you can’t deny a little kid their “blanky”… until they’re 5 and it’s been reduced to nothing but a brown filthy rag.
Holden has never been the ‘typical’ child. He never grew any kind of attachment to any item that lasted for more than a few hours, and the ones that lasted that long were the most random things you can imagine. A rubberband he found on the floor at Wal-mart? He kept that thing for the remainder of the day. Why? I don’t know, but if it shuts a kid up and keeps them happy, i’m a fan. He has stuffed animals he sleeps with, but none that he would freak out about if they randomly went missing; just replace it with another and he’s good to go. No blanky, no boppy- no problem!
Over the past few months, i’ve come to realize that I shouldn’t have counted him completely out of the childhood obsession game, and that I should have known it would be the weirdest obsession you can imagine once it did pop out of the woodwork. I don’t know how I never realized it before… but it was staring me in the face all along.
yes, I said socks. Holden is obsessed with SOCKS. No, he doesn’t have to have them balled up as something to snuggle with at bed time, he doesn’t wear them on his hands or give them names… but he cannot go five minutes with bare feet without absolutely losing his shit.
Other than bath time, I honestly cannot remember a time that I saw his bare feet for more than a few minutes at a time, minus the day at Disney where I insisted he wear sandals and he spent the first hour of the day screaming his face off, and causing all the pictures from that morning to look like his face was melting off. Over SOCKS! WTF.
He certainly didn’t get this obsession from me. I HATE socks. If I could be barefoot all the time without catching some kind of disease, you better believe I would be. I can’t even remember the last time I actually wore them. When you have sweaty palm syndrome, wearing socks is more of a punishment than a comfy way to laze around the house during the weekends.
Holden is the opposite.
Let us take today for instance. Holden the perpetual nail biter, whether it be fingers or toes (he does not discriminate) was sitting on the couch, foot to mouth, chewing yet another hole in his sock. This is something i’ve specifically told him not to do a MILLION times, because at this point, nearly all of his socks are holy and I never hear the end of his bitching about it.
This was the last straw. I took those stupid socks away and told him that he would be spending the rest of the day sockless. You would have thought I told him his dog died (he doesn’t have one, it’s the thought), or that the world was ending in 5 minutes. He started SCREAMING as loud as he possibly could until I just couldn’t hear his voice anymore and sent him to his room.
Ten minutes pass and he’s still screaming to give his socks back, and even went as far as to take a bin of toys and chuck them onto the floor.
Mama don’t play that game.
I walked into his room and informed him that every time from that point on that he bitched about giving his socks back would be another day he’d spend without them. This did not go over well in the mind of a 4 year old, and of course, he did not listen. I do believe we got up to Thursday before he STFU, but for a good 30 minutes he was screaming from his room, “BUT MOMMY! I NEED SOCKS FOR TUESDAY!!! I NEED THEM!!!”
What the hell is so special about Tuesday, I have no idea.
While I hate his stupid sock obsession and can’t wrap my mind around why he insists on wearing them, even when they make his outfit for the day look completely ridiculous since he wears slide on shoes (you’d have to see it to know just how awful it looks. Yes, i’m criticizing a 4 year old’s fashion sense. it’s embarrassing!)- since I rarely see his feet, I tend to forget just how ugly they are. He may not take after me in the love of being barefoot, but he sure takes after me in having flat wide caveman-like boats.
Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on him about wanting to wear socks all the time, and it beats the hell out of Parker’s disgustingly stinky boppy.
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Hard pass from me pic.twitter.com/VayvW1eopK
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.
Parenthood is when you start counting the minutes to bed time before 11am.
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