Well- if there is one thing that I am sure of, it is that today did NOT go as i’d planned! And that was the theme from the very moment we woke up… over an hour late.
Being that we thought we’d be up SO SUPER EARLY to get everything together, we severely slacked on packing last night (ie, we packed nothing)- so when Parker came strolling into our room and woke us up, alerting us to the fact that the alarm did NOT go off, we panicked.
If you know anything about Washington DC, or even the Richmond area- you know there is NASTY traffic if you sit on your ass and wait until mid morning to leave.
Traffic with my two kids?? AHHHH pass!
In a mad panic, we tossed everything we thought we needed together and got on the road. And after about an hour of whining, Parker fell asleep. Thank the sweet baby Jesus he did, because Parker hates cars like a fat kid hates carrots.
The drive was about an hour shorter than we’d expected, so the time lost wasn’t that big of a deal- but since it’s been so long since i’ve traveled to DC to actually see the sights (I am embarrassed to say 15 years or more, but only because it makes me feel old as fucking dirt) I forgot just how massive it is. You wanna see more than one museum? Your happy is is walking, and FAR.
My back was already making me want to reach around and rip my spine out, so the walking really only made me angrier as time went by (as did the blister I wore into my heel)- and i’m sad to say that once we hit the Air & Space Museum I was basically over it, and due to lack of nap, Holden was too… only not in the same way. Meltdowns and tantrums and dirty looks from strangers.
All of that aside, I think both boys had a good time- and now that I am sitting I feel better about it.
There are still problems, though.
You see, when you rush to pack for kids, you tend to forget very VITAL things. Kids need a lot of shit, a LOT. They are like a high maintenance woman. Three bags of this, two bags of that, extra changes of clothes JUST IN CASE, holy shit don’t you forget that toy or I will SCREAM ALL DAY, but what about my bath toys?
I mean, seriously, it’s ridiculous.
And we rushed more than we’ve ever rushed before this morning. Parker’s socks? I don’t know where those are. They aren’t here. We brought an asinine amount of toys and books, but forgot food. FOOD! Mama ain’t made of money, we aren’t eating out for every meal- i’d planned to make most every meal in the room other than dinner… so we had to go out and blow more money out of our asses and buy food here (where everything is a dollar more expensive), only to get back to the hotel room to realize that there’s no way to make the oatmeal I bought because while we have a mini fridge that hardly works, we have no microwave. Fuck me!
I’m going to be seriously winging it- but the good news is that the room isn’t nearly as tiny as I thought so the chance of us killing each other has been greatly lessened- AND, unlike Disney, I have free wifi, which means I can bitch and moan on the interwebs alllll I want. Sorry y’all!
You wouldn't sniff a stranger's butt to see who pooped their pants.... so you probably shouldn't do these other parental things to strangers, either. holdinholden.com/2017/12/weir…
Weird Things you do for your kids but not Strangers goo.gl/fb/oVuwvG
Tis the season! pic.twitter.com/5VgMLnt22E
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.