Reminiscing on the past 2 years

I know that I promised no poopy shmoopy lovey dovey birthday posts where I go into graphic detail of how Parker came shooting out of my vagina- and while i’m keeping that promise, this blog will be a little different than my usual joking posts about shit and weirdo kids.
With Parker turning 2, it’s made me think about all we’ve gone through since I found out I was pregnant with him, and the very hard years after that.

If you’re new to the blog, you likely don’t know the history of the story behind Parker’s birth and his life, and to be totally honest, I won’t go into much detail anywhere but in the book because of how much shit it’s gotten me into in the past and how uncomfortable it all still makes me.

He was a complete surprise; an unexpected, and for a long time, an unwanted pregnancy. I never planned for, or expected to get pregnant again so soon after Holden, and I was in a state of complete shock and denial for most of his pregnancy.

Little did I know what a profound effect one tiny person would have on my life, my way of thinking, and my outlook on people and the world.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still think about how easy it would be without two small children running around, but I also constantly think about how EMPTY my life would be without him.

His life hasn’t been easy. Parker spent the majority of the first year of his life sick; very sick, and because of that sickness, I caught hell from outsiders who just didn’t understand and didn’t agree with how we were dealing with his sickness, or that he was even sick to begin with. We have been dealing with the fallout from both of those things ever since.

Parker has no idea that he has taught me patience and compassion beyond anything I ever thought I could feel. He taught me that unexpected pregnancies can be a blessing in disguise, because I honestly have no idea where or who i’d be without him. I may not still have this blog, I may not have written a book, and I certainly wouldn’t be the person I am now.

Despite his ongoing issues, he is by far the sweetest child I have ever met. He may be tiny, but he has a HUGE heart. I get random hugs and kisses multiple times a day- even though some of those kisses are followed by a slap to the face like he’s my pimp and i’m his bitch.

It doesn’t matter how many times he sprays diarrhea all over the walls and the floor, or how many times he pukes up lunch because he just doesn’t want to eat his sandwich, or even how many times he bites the inside of my thigh just because he feels like it- he is my baby and I will love him forever.

Children: they really do change your ENTIRE life if you just let them.

So happy 2nd Birthday Parker! I only hope that your next years are healthier than your first, because you deserve it.

Posted on September 30, 2011 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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