To most of the world (or maybe just the people invited to the birthday party), tomorrow is officially the day that my babies turn 4 and 2. This is a sad, depressing day for any Mommy… partly because we realize our babies are growing up, but mostly because we realize we are just that much closer to bacon tits, varicose veins, and menopause.
That aside, i’ve really been a BAD MOMMY about the party this year.
In the past, it’s been the first thing on my mind, my #1 top priority… and honestly the only thing I have to do other than sit on the couch and pick my nose. Each year I tried to outdo the last, starting with the theme and priding myself on my baked confections.
I don’t know when it happened, but apparently some time between the last party and this one- I got a life. Not some WOOOO PARTY MY FACE OFF! life, but I find myself keeping pretty busy. Two mobile kids, one of whom is being a super dick about eating again, the book and all the promotion behind it, the blog and the surveys, this “new” house that needs cleaning much more often than i’d like, the trips out of town and passes to Busch Gardens… i’ve found little to no time to sit down and actually plan a kick ass birthday party.
So here I am, the eve of the party… and I have basically NOTHING done. I haven’t even bought Parker’s gift yet (which i’ve had on my list of things to do for months now).
Today, much to my chagrin, I spent over 3 hours running around town trying to get everything we needed to decorate and bake and feed people tomorrow (key word: trying). Did I mention this was during a torrential downpour and tornado warning?
That plus two kids and a hurt back is a nightmare.
I honestly didn’t have much luck finding anything I needed at the right price… and there is no such theme as a “western mickey” party so I spent a long time walking back and forth between the aisles at the party store trying to figure out how I could incorporate the “western” theme with the “mickey mouse clubhouse” theme… all the while, Parker screaming like he was dying because he was absolutely terrified of all the decorations, and getting the “you’re a terrible parent” look from strangers.
I’ve figured out that in the end, i’m gonna have to wing it! It may not outdo last year, or either of the two years before that… but the kids are 4 and 2- are they REALLY going to give a shit if they had some kind of extravagant ridiculous party? No. And that’s because they aren’t evil brats (most of the time anyways).
However, it would be nice if they would let me at least get the baking and some of the cleaning done tonight… but that might be a pipe dream on my part. They’ve both been up crying twice already and I haven’t even started.
It’s going to be a LONG weekend. Let us hope that the Oreo Peanut-Butter Brownie Cupcakes save the day. A clogged artery always seems to do the trick.
@Julieannefiu I still sing WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE. I think they're lying about the "real" lyrics
I sang SO many embarrassingly wrong song lyrics with such confidence. pic.twitter.com/Ww5TaAxY3r
@AndreaPerez0217 Not that I'm biased, but I highly recommend ;) Hope you enjoy!
Parenthood: you think it's gonna be all hugs & booboo kisses, but it's really cooking food everyone hates & scraping boogers off of walls.
School system: Here! Have a half day on Friday the 13th! Me: pic.twitter.com/Dy18C8R3dD
Spooking the Kids Without Scarring them for LIFE With Netflix! (and a giveaway!) goo.gl/fb/tkeWgB
I've never felt more in tune with nature than while watching my 8yo barf in the front yard this morning like a wild animal. Such majesty.