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And this is why i’m insane.

Children are the most wonderful things on the planet. Tiny little innocent creatures- precious and cute, and easily the best things to ever come out of a vagina.

My kids are clearly me entire world (and source of amusement), I love them to bits and pieces… until I get locked in a small square room with them.

Most parents have had the mind numbing experience of being stuck in a doctor’s exam room with their crotch blossom for ungodly amounts of time- staring at four white walls, desperate for a way out or SOMETHING ot occupy the spawn so they stop screaming and trying to break expensive equipment. Long story short: it is NOT FUN.

Multiply that times 2 kids, and tack on 5 days to it.
That is the horror I faced when I found out that our room at Disney was a 500 square foot box meant for 2 people, but for us was going to hold 4. We’re talking nightmare status, up there with the likes of The Shining.

Although I knew we wouldn’t be in the room much, I could not risk no one sleeping because of the close quarters after 12 hours in the heat every day… so I sucked it up and paid more money than i’m wiling to admit to for the room upgrade…
And it was the BEST decision I ever made (even if the hole burned in my wallet still stings)!
I mean, other than my left calf swelling up to 3 times its regular girth and giving me the lovely look of Cankle to show off, and the massive heat rash from the concrete at Epcot, and Holden getting food poisoning and vomiting all over himself in Hollywood Studios- it was amazing.
No, i’m serious, it was- and I attribute that to having a separate room than the boys, and them having their own beds to sleep in.

This weekend, we head to the Washington DC area for Thomas’ work training… and I don’t think our room situation is going to be nearly as spacious- unlike Disney, I did not save up for this trip.

One might ask- why don’t I just stay home with the boys and send Thomas off… but 4 days alone with the kids with a hurt back and a 3 day long migraine that doesn’t seem to be backing off any time soon sounds like complete and total misery to me.

Call me crazy, but being trapped in a box and having Thomas in the mornings and at night to help out sounds like a MUCH better option.

It’s times like these where I have the utmost respect for Military moms- because in my mind, there’s just no way I could handle my kids for 4 days alone, let alone 4 months or longer! I’d go completely insane, and all my threats to sell them on Craigslist would become reality.

Unfortunately- we don’t have Disney to escape to during the days in Northern VA. It’s just me and the boys, stuck in a box- and driving around in a place with crazy ass drivers and one way streets abound sounds terrifying- and this is coming from someone who used to live in Los Angeles.

Knowing my luck, they’ll tie me to a chair and destroy the room like the destructive little ninjas they are.

I’m hoping to con enough people into hanging out with us while we’re there to avoid being stuck in between 4 walls with 2 loud little children- who’s in??

Posted on September 15, 2011 by Holdin' Holden 4 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden

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4 Comments

  • you will NOT be stuck in that hotel room while you are here.. I will NOT allow it!

  • I love these Blogs, these tykes entertain me to no end, and well, you just can’t help but laugh at the poor mom cleaning up all the messes…….now the question is…”Mom, can I borrow your car so we can see the sights while the entertainment crew is here next week?” If I could draw, it would be a cartoon something like this……Parker suction cupped to the window somehow, like one of those garfield dolls, or better yet, the old bear doll that moons everyone, Holden, clinging to the ceiling, racing around, liner coming down in numerous places, like a little spider man, Damian sitting in his car seat with that damn binky going like he’s Maggie Simpson, he pulls it out to cheer Holden on “Yeah Yeah”…..Jenny cowering in the passenger seat with a cold cloth on her head rocking and mumbling over and over again..I told you, I told You……and Kristen with her wonderful “patience of a Saint” has pulled over on the busiest street downtown, jumped out of the car and locked them all inside….. I wonder if I lend my car, should I call ahead to Charles Town Car Wash and warn them, that there will be vomit and perhaps other things left between the seats to clean, along with the entire bottle of laundry soap that was already accidentally spilled in there?? Come on Voters…..do I let them use my car, or play it safe and rent them a van???

  • That is easily one of the funniest things I have ever read!
    My brats aren’t all THAT messy… but then again, they have never been in a vehicle as a group of 3. And 3s .. well, something can be said for it being an unlucky number

  • I know precisely what you mean. We always go on travel with my husband to DC. Much rather have him to help out in the morning and evening, than not at all for a week. Plus, we miss that asshole.