Children are the most wonderful things on the planet. Tiny little innocent creatures- precious and cute, and easily the best things to ever come out of a vagina.
My kids are clearly me entire world (and source of amusement), I love them to bits and pieces… until I get locked in a small square room with them.
Most parents have had the mind numbing experience of being stuck in a doctor’s exam room with their crotch blossom for ungodly amounts of time- staring at four white walls, desperate for a way out or SOMETHING ot occupy the spawn so they stop screaming and trying to break expensive equipment. Long story short: it is NOT FUN.
Multiply that times 2 kids, and tack on 5 days to it.
That is the horror I faced when I found out that our room at Disney was a 500 square foot box meant for 2 people, but for us was going to hold 4. We’re talking nightmare status, up there with the likes of The Shining.
Although I knew we wouldn’t be in the room much, I could not risk no one sleeping because of the close quarters after 12 hours in the heat every day… so I sucked it up and paid more money than i’m wiling to admit to for the room upgrade…
And it was the BEST decision I ever made (even if the hole burned in my wallet still stings)!
I mean, other than my left calf swelling up to 3 times its regular girth and giving me the lovely look of Cankle to show off, and the massive heat rash from the concrete at Epcot, and Holden getting food poisoning and vomiting all over himself in Hollywood Studios- it was amazing.
No, i’m serious, it was- and I attribute that to having a separate room than the boys, and them having their own beds to sleep in.
This weekend, we head to the Washington DC area for Thomas’ work training… and I don’t think our room situation is going to be nearly as spacious- unlike Disney, I did not save up for this trip.
One might ask- why don’t I just stay home with the boys and send Thomas off… but 4 days alone with the kids with a hurt back and a 3 day long migraine that doesn’t seem to be backing off any time soon sounds like complete and total misery to me.
Call me crazy, but being trapped in a box and having Thomas in the mornings and at night to help out sounds like a MUCH better option.
It’s times like these where I have the utmost respect for Military moms- because in my mind, there’s just no way I could handle my kids for 4 days alone, let alone 4 months or longer! I’d go completely insane, and all my threats to sell them on Craigslist would become reality.
Unfortunately- we don’t have Disney to escape to during the days in Northern VA. It’s just me and the boys, stuck in a box- and driving around in a place with crazy ass drivers and one way streets abound sounds terrifying- and this is coming from someone who used to live in Los Angeles.
Knowing my luck, they’ll tie me to a chair and destroy the room like the destructive little ninjas they are.
I’m hoping to con enough people into hanging out with us while we’re there to avoid being stuck in between 4 walls with 2 loud little children- who’s in??
You wouldn't sniff a stranger's butt to see who pooped their pants.... so you probably shouldn't do these other parental things to strangers, either. holdinholden.com/2017/12/weir…
Weird Things you do for your kids but not Strangers goo.gl/fb/oVuwvG
Tis the season! pic.twitter.com/5VgMLnt22E
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.