Tomorrow marks one week since moving from the cursed house into the new house. I feel like we’ve gotten so much done, but there is SO much left to do- and all with so much drama attached I swear.
From not being able to do anything because my back and neck hurt so badly, to attempting to unpack with said hurt neck and back, having to take breaks to ice it and pop pain killers that didn’t work, the scramble to organize all of our things that seemed to fit so nicely in one house for so long into this one, which has not been an easy task in the slightest…
To having Holden who is constantly shitting his pants and really throwing a stinky wrench into things up to 5 times per day (yes, it has begun again), to Parker who is now refusing to fall asleep in his room, and EVERY single night since the 3rd night here has fallen asleep on the pillow on the floor next to me in the living room… to now, me having some seriously painful mouth issues.
Hardy har, make your jokes, but I am concerned. I know my teeth have gotten the shit end of the stick for a long time. I do my best to take care of them on my own; I rinse, I brush, I floss, I whiten, but they have had a mind of their own. Since an incredibly traumatizing experience as a child where a nurse held me down in the dentist’s office, I have NEVER wanted to go back, and only have out of necessity. My wisdom teeth, for instance. I’ve never had mouth or tooth pain other than that time, so when I went in and he told me that not only did I have a shattered and impacted wisdom tooth, but “deep decay” as well, I was shocked. Didn’t see that coming. I was even more displeased that he didn’t take care of it while he was wrenching 3 teeth out of my mouth. C’mon, you know he could have.
I knew, then, that I should go to the dentist and have it looked at and taken care of- but I didn’t. The recovery from my wisdom teeth extraction was so painful that I used it as another excuse to put things off.
It’s always been in the back of my mind, though. I HATE my teeth, and I know the feeling is very mutual.
I don’t know when or how it happened, or why… but I have a SERIOUS pain in the right side of my mouth. I keep poking around and i’m never able to see or find the direct cause, but it does NOT appear to be my teeth. It’s at the bottom, in my gums, but not my gums, in my cheek but not my cheek.
Shit, all I really know is that it hurts, a LOT. I thought maybe I brushed wrong and jabbed my cheek really hard and tore the skin, and maybe I did, but with the problems I know I already have, who the hell knows if it’s not something more serious.
Now I know I NEED to go to the dentist, but I am so terrified that they’ll tell me that I have to have ALL of my teeth removed and 15 root canals that I don’t think I can muster up the courage.
The moving, the boxes up to my nose, the pooping, the non-sleeping, the back and the neck and now the mouth.
For fuck’s sake, WHAT THE HELL ELSE IS GOING TO GO WRONG!?!?!
No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.
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