It’s been, what? Over a month now since I screwed my back up? I swore when this started that it HAD to be something temporary; it would go away once whatever the hell is wrong in there healed and I would feel like myself again… no dice.
Instead, every time I begin to feel even slightly human, the next day I wake up in an excruciating amount of pain. It’s not like i’ve ever felt back to 100% since this crap started, but I thought I was getting there when I could spend an entire day at Busch Gardens and get home in only a tiny bit of pain. I was finally able to exercise again (although very very cautiously and only my bottom half), which was nice since i’m beginning to feel like a beached whale… things were looking up!
And then I awoke this morning and wanted to die. I tried to trudge through, be a trooper and push through the pain and work off some of the fluff on my body… but the pain, this time, was just too much. So much pain that not even my beautiful wonderful trusty ice pack helped. So bad that I literally felt nauseous and exhausted from being in so much pain.
I know- DRAMA QUEEN!!!!- but seriously, when it comes to pain, I AM NOT A FAN! And when the pain is radiating through your back making it impossible to do much of anything without wanting to die… it’s hard not to bitch.
Unfortunately, my back isn’t the only thing bothering me.
I don’t know what crawled up the kids asses and died, but they are under my skin in a serious way… and i’m positive it wouldn’t be so highly and incredibly annoying if my back didn’t hurt so damn much- because patience is a rare and treasured commodity around here these days.
From fighting, to screaming, to slapping, to running upstairs, tearing all the covers off of my bed, proceeding to jump on said bed, falling OFF of said bed, and getting stuck between that same bed and the wall…. yeah, i’d say i’m going insane.
It likely doesn’t help that I got so focused on editing the book last night, in such a groove, that I spent something like 3 hours hunched over my hard copy and the computer, transcribing furiously… which more than likely added to the pain I am experiencing right now.
I really, REALLY don’t want to go back to the doctor and have them look at me like i’m some pill popping junky who makes things up for another fix… but enough is enough!
I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!
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