With every house we move into, there’s an epidemic of some sort going on. Can’t we ever move into ONE house with no problems? Is that too much to ask?
With the townhouse, it was the worst. Aggro spiders, mice, and waterbugs so big you could hear their toenails when they scuttled across the floor. In our last house, it was a never ending stream of mice. No matter how many we trapped or killed, more always showed up. Eating our food, crapping in our corning wear, playing in our oven at night; slowly driving me to complete insanity.
This house, thankfully, is nowhere near as disgusting as the previous two- but it has issues of its own. Besides the air conditioning that doesn’t really work and hot water that refuses to stay hot, forcing you to take cold showers, we have another issue that has arisen: crickets.
I HATE CRICKETS!!! Not as much as spiders, mind you, but they are one step down the ladder. They’re big, they’re small, they’re disgusting, and they make a tremendous amount of noise… especially when they insist on hiding under your couch.
No matter where I go, I find one; on the couch, on the ceiling, crawling up the walls, hiding behind furniture… they are everywhere! And I don’t know how they are getting in, or how to stop them!
As I sit on the couch tonight, I have the ridiculous concern that suddenly I will feel something tickle at the backs of my heels… and it will be none other than cricket antennae, and I have no way of jumping up and screaming because there is a laptop in my lap, ice on my back, and two kids asleep upstairs.
The only upside is that unlike spiders, these stupid little turds don’t bite, and so far are not aggressive- only fantastically evasive. They are zombie crickets. No matter how hard or how many times you smack them, ten minutes later, you see them hopping across your floor only to get away from you again; probably laying eggs for more evil cricket babies to haunt me in my sleep.
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.
For any parent who's ever had a kid who thinks they're more grown up than they are... and proves themselves wrong-- this story is for you holdinholden.com/2017/12/10-g…
@The_Mrs_Ward It's definitely a step out of the comfort zone but once you dip a toe in, it's hard to go back!
Out with the old, in with the pink! pic.twitter.com/plm0ogzPLf
10 Going on 20: The Spicy Chicken Story goo.gl/fb/qqm3FZ
'Tis the season to return a gift given to you and have the uncontrollable urge to buy more crap for your kids with the money.