What’d I tell y’all yesterday? Didn’t I say that by blogging about Parker having no accidents since we switched him to underwear that he would mess himself today just to spite me?
Just call me psychic, because that’s exactly what happened!
All day I begged Parker to take a crap in the potty. He missed all of his usual times to go, and even though I told him to sit back down, he refused to do anything once he did.
Sure enough, right after lunch, and another refusal to poop, I went to wash the dishes only to come back and find him fussing about his underwear. I asked him if he needed to poop and he gave me a nod, so off we went. Once I was walking him down the hall to the bathroom I noticed something suspicious out of the corner of my eye.
What could it be? A big pile of crap, that’s what!
In horror, I asked him quite loudly if he had crapped on my floor even though I had JUST told him to take a crap on the potty and he wouldn’t- and he instantly started crying.
Poop on the floor, poop down his leg. I cleaned his nasty ass up and then forced him to stay bottomless in the bathroom while I followed the trail of shit down the hall. I was even less enthused to find that not only had he gotten it on the hardwood, but had tracked it all over my WHITE carpet as well.
Let me just tell you- toddler poop is a hell of a lot harder and a hell of a lot more disgusting to clean out of a carpet than animal shit. Once it’s there, it does NOT want to budge.
I’ve had so many issues with poop really disgusting me lately that this was easily the least fun thing i’ve ever had to do- scrubbing and scrubbing just to try to get the brown out of my carpet. Having to pick up a steaming pile of child shit and carry it to the bathroom and having to feel how soft and warm it was.
I can tell you this- from now on, that child WILL be sitting on the potty after breakfast AND lunch until he squeezes out a turd, because I will NOT be cleaning up human poop from my floor ever again!
@Julieannefiu I still sing WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE. I think they're lying about the "real" lyrics
I sang SO many embarrassingly wrong song lyrics with such confidence. pic.twitter.com/Ww5TaAxY3r
@AndreaPerez0217 Not that I'm biased, but I highly recommend ;) Hope you enjoy!
Parenthood: you think it's gonna be all hugs & booboo kisses, but it's really cooking food everyone hates & scraping boogers off of walls.
School system: Here! Have a half day on Friday the 13th! Me: pic.twitter.com/Dy18C8R3dD
Spooking the Kids Without Scarring them for LIFE With Netflix! (and a giveaway!) goo.gl/fb/tkeWgB
I've never felt more in tune with nature than while watching my 8yo barf in the front yard this morning like a wild animal. Such majesty.