What’d I tell y’all yesterday? Didn’t I say that by blogging about Parker having no accidents since we switched him to underwear that he would mess himself today just to spite me?
Just call me psychic, because that’s exactly what happened!
All day I begged Parker to take a crap in the potty. He missed all of his usual times to go, and even though I told him to sit back down, he refused to do anything once he did.
Sure enough, right after lunch, and another refusal to poop, I went to wash the dishes only to come back and find him fussing about his underwear. I asked him if he needed to poop and he gave me a nod, so off we went. Once I was walking him down the hall to the bathroom I noticed something suspicious out of the corner of my eye.
What could it be? A big pile of crap, that’s what!
In horror, I asked him quite loudly if he had crapped on my floor even though I had JUST told him to take a crap on the potty and he wouldn’t- and he instantly started crying.
Poop on the floor, poop down his leg. I cleaned his nasty ass up and then forced him to stay bottomless in the bathroom while I followed the trail of shit down the hall. I was even less enthused to find that not only had he gotten it on the hardwood, but had tracked it all over my WHITE carpet as well.
Let me just tell you- toddler poop is a hell of a lot harder and a hell of a lot more disgusting to clean out of a carpet than animal shit. Once it’s there, it does NOT want to budge.
I’ve had so many issues with poop really disgusting me lately that this was easily the least fun thing i’ve ever had to do- scrubbing and scrubbing just to try to get the brown out of my carpet. Having to pick up a steaming pile of child shit and carry it to the bathroom and having to feel how soft and warm it was.
I can tell you this- from now on, that child WILL be sitting on the potty after breakfast AND lunch until he squeezes out a turd, because I will NOT be cleaning up human poop from my floor ever again!
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.
For any parent who's ever had a kid who thinks they're more grown up than they are... and proves themselves wrong-- this story is for you holdinholden.com/2017/12/10-g…
@The_Mrs_Ward It's definitely a step out of the comfort zone but once you dip a toe in, it's hard to go back!
Out with the old, in with the pink! pic.twitter.com/plm0ogzPLf
10 Going on 20: The Spicy Chicken Story goo.gl/fb/qqm3FZ
'Tis the season to return a gift given to you and have the uncontrollable urge to buy more crap for your kids with the money.