It has been far too long since I have spread the joy of the pure weirdness that spews from Holden’s mouth with the rest of the world, and trust me when I say, it hasn’t gotten any less weird over time.
Share in the weird with me!
Holden: “Mommy, why did you buy me this stuff?”
Me: “I didn’t”
Holden: “Who did, Walgreens?”
Me: “I want you to clean this mess up. Now!”
Holden: “But i’m MAD at you!”
While I was brewing a pot of coffee, I overheard Holden say to Preston:
“Preston, I smell something…. It smells like yummy yummy YUM!”
While making pasta one night I asked Holden whether he wanted spiral or elbow macaroni, his response:
“I want arm noodles!”
After killing a bug, Holden exlaimed:
“Mommy, I just called Parker a wet-willy butt!”
“Daddy, i’m gonna get SIDEWAYS!”
“Guess what Preston? Peanut butter and jelly BUTTHOLES!”
After Parker took a poop in the potty, Holden insisted on looking at it (as he usually does) and then said:
“That doodoo looks like flying bugs!”
Holden: “mommy, the veggies are done!”
Me: “How did you know I was making veggies?”
Holden: “because I opened the door and smelled them and they smelled like PUKE!”
“I’m gonna make a fat lady’s purse out of coleslaw!”
Holden: “there’s two of you!”
Me: “There’s two of me?”
Holden: “You have sixteen eyes!”
Upon overhearing me talking about the weird things he is always saying, Holden had one request of me.
It’s not just the words that come out of Holden’s mouth that are weird, it’s the actions.
One day I caught Parker naked from the waist down and Holden taking pictures of his butt.
I’ll let Holden sum it up for you
“I want to be weird!”
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times