I’ve noticed over the past few years as I encounter new people and people from my past, that there are TWO specific questions that I am constantly asked. No, not how are you, how have you been, how old are your kids types of questions that you think I might get. For me, it’s never typical!
The two specific questions also come from two specific types of people. People who knew me before kids, and those who met me after.
For those that met me after I tore myself in half twice, the question is always: “So, are you gonna try for that girl?”
When you see a woman with two sons, of course the assumption is that she feels screwed and will keep getting herself knocked up until she finds herself impregnated with a female to level out the balance of power in her home. And a lot of times that assumption would be correct- but having to field that question over and OVER gets slightly agitating.
The status of my uterine plans for the future is yet undetermined, i’d prefer to stop talking about it!
The question I get asked from those knew me prior to having kids? “Are you still playing music?”
Constantly, every single day, I get asked that question. Over and over and over again. And I always have the same answer, “Not since I got pregnant, the first time”
To be totally honest, answering the question makes me feel a little bad. And it’s not because I miss playing music or regret choosing to not only have kids, but to stay home with them instead of continuing on my musical journey- but because I see the looks of slight disappointment on peoples faces when they heard that I have basically given up on something that was once SO important to me.
After the billionth time being asked that very same question, and having to give the very same answer, and seeing that exact same face- I started to feel like a loser. The girl voted “most likely to succeed” by the majority of her school choir- and what am I doing with my life, really?
To me, taking care of my kids is amazing, best job ever- best decision ever… but to others that don’t have kids, or who really thought I was going places with my music, it’s a step down.
Today I found a way to change all of that.
We were running errands when I ran into someone I went to highschool with. For the life of me I couldn’t remember her name (which I felt terrible about), but she remembered me, and of course- that question once again came up:
“So are you still playing music?”
And once again, I answered the same way:
“Not since I had them…”
But then I thought about it, I AM doing something else pretty big, so when I saw that same defeated look, I added,
“But i’m writing a book now”
Look of disappointment? Gone. And then she told me I have gorgeous children. Double score.
I’m not the type to give a shit what people think, but it was seriously becoming a bummer to answer that damn question- and now it’s not!
Now I just have to finish the freaking book, GOD I hate editing!
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