This morning both boys woke up at the crack of dawn and crawled into bed with Thomas and I. it’s a rare occurrence, because usually, when the boys are up- they are UP. There is no snuggle time.
As much as I loved every second of it- all I could really think about is that my friend Michelle does not get to enjoy the same luxury, because her little girls were taken away from her.
I am going to copy and paste her post for you to read:
“I can only describe the hell that I am going through right now because I would never wish for anyone else to feel this kind of pain.
My girls have been gone for going-on two days at this point on (what seem to be) false allegations of sexual abuse. There were no other indications of anything, and I will say I never had instinctual gut feelings that anything was awry, so this has all been news to me. Reportedly during her private interview with the fresh new caseworker and her seasoned co-worker Marilyn reported that her father had inappropriately touched her. As far as I know, the interview was not recorded and there is no record of her saying this apart from the claims of Children’s Services. I have talked to my child on a regular basis about such things and have asked her about such things and nothing was ever indicated or disclosed to me. She is a happy, healthy, emotionally aware child who is very bright and vivacious.
Because I did not believe the allegations to be true the girls were not allowed to come home with me. We were allowed to search for family care for a short while, but were unsuccessful in our attempts. At this point we strongly believe that anyone who did not believe the allegations would have been denied to care for our children. Because of such, the girls were placed in temporary emergency custody.
The caseworker has been very polite but not completely supportive. I was told I would be able to visit my children and call them. Now I know that the only calls have to be facilitated through the caseworker, with them listening in on a three way conversation. I suppose her supervisor (another seasoned caseworker that I do not want to say I feel too positively about) did not approve my visitation. My phone conversation was ended this afternoon abruptly and the caseworker never contacted me further to let me know anything else. I am left hanging.
I am not being accused of anything, however, they took my babies away from me. It was not sufficient enough for their father to leave the home because since I did not believe the allegations, I was believed to not be able to provide them with a safe environment.
Our emergency custody hearing was scheduled for this afternoon. However, as we were walking out the door to drive downtown, the phone rang, and wouldn’t you know that there was an emergency magistrate hearing at the court so it got rescheduled for tomorrow morning.
It has been utter and complete hell. I honestly don’t even know if there is anything else I could have done to make things go any differently.
I got to speak to the girls on the phone this afternoon. Mal gal sounded just fine, I think they are keeping her happy with a barrage of things that a 1 ½ year old likes so she may or may not even realize the situation. I hope that she does not. Marilyn, however, definitely knows that something is going on. When I spoke with her on the phone she kept telling me how scared she was and how she wanted to come home. I told her I needed her to be my brave girl and to pray to God because he would keep her safe. She just cried and cried.
I am beyond infuriated at what this is doing to my children’s well-being and emotional health, and the impact that this is having on my family. I never in a million years thought that anything like this could happen, but apparently it does.
I wish I had known many things about this agency before complying to their need to interview us and open a case. If I had, I never would have taken my children downtown and into that building. Who would have thought that I would not be leaving with them?
And the most incredulous thing of all of this is that there was never an initial claim or complaint against us. This all came about because my daughter likes to touch herself (and has since she weaned at less than 1 1/2 ) and because if left unchecked (I am very firm about these behaviors at home) she will continue to do it. Why? Because it feels good. Sooner or later everyone discovers the magic of the clitoris. Some of us are just quicker to realize our goods than others.
But her care provider called looking for ADVICE on if this was normal and how should they approach me to discuss her behaviors. Not because they ever thought anything was going on.
As if that all wasn’t enough, my children have very limited alone time with their father. I usually only work on-the-job 17 hours a week, part-time. I am home with them from the time I pick them up from school until the time I go to work the next day. Their father has alone time with them for an hour or two between me going to work in the morning and him taking them to school. We live in a small apartment and not much goes on around here without everyone knowing.
But here I am, at 5 in the morning, typing all of this because I can’t sleep. My babies aren’t here to cover up or to caress their sleeping faces. I have been on the phone all day making calls and waiting for calls. I have been on the Internet all day looking up any information that I can about these things.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t end with our hearing today. I’ll be lucky if I get to take the girls home with me, however, until this investigation is closed, they will not be able to see their father. If I’m less-than lucky I might not be able to take them home, but a family member has already begun taking the proper steps in order to attempt to secure the girls with them and so hopefully they would get the girls instead of strangers.
My child will have to be subjected to a specific physical that looks for signs of many things. I won’t go into detail on what that fully entails, but I would never subject her to that if given the choice. But in this situation it is absolutely necessary to rule out any indications of less-than-pure intent and actions. However, in 90% of cases, there is no physical evidence, just the word of the child.
My child will have to undergo therapy in any case and I have already set an appointment for next week. I don’t want to think about the issues that she will have emotionally because of all of this. I can just hope that being so young, and so bright, she will bounce back from all of this relatively quickly. But their strong sense of security (and mine) has been shattered. That will take a long time to rebuild.
We are undergoing investigation by the local law enforcement as well. I wish my mindset could be that he is innocent until proven guilty, but my research has shown me (and the actions taken) that in cases like these, dealing with this agency, it is guilty until proven innocent. He could face charges and a conviction if this gets out of hand. I don’t even want to get thinking about things that aren’t set-in-stone because there are far too many possibilities.”
It only gets worse from there.
At the hearing held, CPS got on the stand and flat out lied. Michelle was not allowed to argue her side of the case, and the girls are now being kept in emergency custody. The next hearing isn’t until the end of June- and both she and Mark have to hire separate lawyers to represent them.
She is not wealthy. She works incredibly hard to just scrape by, is going back to school and working to make a better life for her children, and affording a lawyer is EXPENSIVE.
I’ve known Michelle for probably over 4 years now. I know the kind of person she is, and I know the kind of person Mark is- and I know what it’s like to have CPS come after you claiming they want to help, but have NO idea what they are talking about. Children get taken by CPS over NOTHING more than anyone wants to admit, more than anyone knows. It’s sad, and it’s horrifying, that a GOOD mother can have her children snatched from her because of something that got blown out of proportion, and then twisted to make it seem like something sinister was going on when it was not. Out of 100 sexual abuse allegations, only 1 is proven to be true. I am positive that Michelle and Mark are not that 1.
I’ve spent a lot of time crying over this because it hits so incredibly close to home; All I can think about is that it could have been me. My boys easily could have been taken from me by CPS based on lies back when Parker was sick and they came into my house and spewed a bunch of untrue bullshit at me. I would hope that if my boys had been taken away, that people would have reached out and helped me to get them back- and if there were ever a worthy cause to receive help: this would be it.
After some encouragement from me to put up a Paypal donate link on her blog, she did.
You can find the blog and the Paypal link here:
I encourage you to repost my blog, to post her blog link on your twitters or your facebooks. I encourage you to donate to help her get her girls back where they rightfully belong: at home. Even if it’s only a dollar, everything counts, and she only has until Wednesday to raise the funds (even after emptying out her savings, she will still be 1k short).
SPREAD THE WORD.
Please help Michelle get her girls back!
This hell can happen to absolutely anyone. Hold your children close tonight.
@mental_meanders I've lasted 6 years. I'll be damned if they nab me now!
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