No one in this house has been quite themselves since returning from Disney. Poor Holden hasn’t felt normal since our last night there!
He seems to have gotten the brunt, or maybe it’s two completely separate things… with the all-night, half day, and one extra early morning puke the morning after we came home. After that he seemed to get back to his usual self pretty quickly, unlike myself. I wasn’t puking at Disney, but my stomach was ANGRY nonetheless. I had a few dry heaves but generally, in any circumstance where I feel sick enough to hurl, I get a different kind of sick instead.
Neither Holden nor I could bear to eat anything our last day at Disney. It wasn’t until we were eating dinner at an airport in Atlanta during our layover that I decided it would be best to just force food into myself or i’d be starving AND nauseous. Never a good combo.
Once we got home and Holden got that final puke out of his system, it seemed to be Parker’s turn to get sick. Or what we thought was sick.. or teething.. or just re-adjusting to being home. He slept constantly, he cried constantly, he followed you around and cried until you picked him up… and then would proceed to scream in your ear. I had NO idea what was bothering him.
Out of nowhere, his mega-hard, bloody-ass inducing, rock hard shits turned into liquid. Diarrhea everywhere. I, who never felt fully back to normal since coming home, started feeling those all-too familiar pains as well. I figured out then that we must have some kind of strange stomach bug. Maybe not the one Holden had, since that appeared to be straight-up food poisoning of the worst kind, but something since getting home. Or maybe something at that craptacular excuse for a restaurant at the Atlanta airport.
Before I could really ponder all of the possibilities, it hit Holden like a mack truck. Three pairs of liquid shit through underwear later, and a lot of dry heaving out of me at the sheer horror, and my suspicions were confirmed. SICK! We’re all sick!
Even Thomas, Mr. “I never get sick!” got smacked with the same bug. It’s a damn shame we only have one bathroom in this house.
Holden and I have yet to have our stomach contents explode out of us today, but Parker got an early start. You know something is wrong when everyone in the house has shit that looks identical. Well.. except Thomas. I have not seen his. I don’t WANT to see his. Ever.
I think Disney pumps crack into their parks and gets you so addicted that you never want to leave… and then when you do, you have withdrawals so bad that you just want to pack up house and move into Cinderella’s castle just so you can stop shitting yourself into oblivion. I doubt Cinderella has ever taken a dump in her life.
@Julieannefiu I still sing WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE. I think they're lying about the "real" lyrics
I sang SO many embarrassingly wrong song lyrics with such confidence. pic.twitter.com/Ww5TaAxY3r
@AndreaPerez0217 Not that I'm biased, but I highly recommend ;) Hope you enjoy!
Parenthood: you think it's gonna be all hugs & booboo kisses, but it's really cooking food everyone hates & scraping boogers off of walls.
School system: Here! Have a half day on Friday the 13th! Me: pic.twitter.com/Dy18C8R3dD
Spooking the Kids Without Scarring them for LIFE With Netflix! (and a giveaway!) goo.gl/fb/tkeWgB