Thanks to the massive amounts of surveys I do, over the weekend I once again had a gift card to blow at the mall. It’s perfect timing what with Disney being only a handful of days away and considering that I have basically zero summer clothes… and i’m pretty damn sure it’s going to be blistering there. A tanktop or two were definitely in order.
After my giftcard was blown (which is NOT hard to do in a place like American Eagle) we had some time to kill so we decided just to walk around for a little while.
Holden’s gotten into this strange habit of either walking in front of you, or behind you- never beside- and in the mall that’s not always safe to either Thomas or I end up hanging back to walking quickly with him while the other pushes Parker leisurely around in the stroller.Way to go Holden for making a relaxing trip to the mall into a damn marathon.
It just so happened that this time, I was the one staying back with Holden- since his choice of the day was to completely lollygag, while Thomas pushed Parker a little bit ahead. Not very far at all though, because the second Thomas stopped short for GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT REASON, my toe, which was in a flip flop and therefore naked to the world, slammed into the underside of his shoe.
SEARING HORRIBLE DEATH PAIN. I swore when I looked down my big toe nail was going to be gone. There would be nothing left but a meaty red stump.Have you ever seen a toe without a nail? It ain’t pretty.
After a few loud expleteives followed by dirty looks from a bunch of parents, I looked down to assess the damage. SHOCK! Not even the polish was chipped, but it hurt like a serious bitch on her period.
It wasn’t until later when I got a closer look that it became clear. My nail is fucked. Halfway up it, there is a huge crack that goes halfway across. The thing is a GONER!
The absolute worst thing I can think of is forgetting about it being cracked in half and then catching it on something, tearing it the rest of the way off. AAUUGGGHH I cringe just thinking about it.
I’ve tried putting a bandaid over it, that lasted all of a few hours. It lost its sticky property pretty damn fast and then fell off. Since then, my nail has been naked, just waiting for something to hurt it.
I’ve been thinking about painting a layer or two of polish over it so maybe it will act as some sort of cement… or even just to hold it in place until the crack grows out enough for me to cut it off without looking like a total freak.
It really just figures that SOMETHING would go wrong with before Disney. Something that would impede me walking for 8+ hours a day. Did it really have to be my big toenail? I am in pure terror thinking about walking around the park on what is forecasted to be “the second busiest time of the year”, with all kinds of other feet just centimeters away from my poor cracked toe, and could each easily tear the nail right off.
I have no luck with Orlando. Last time I went? A ride ran over my foot (that’s a long story), this time? I’m gonna have my big toenail torn clean off. AAHHHHHHHHHHHH good lord, let’s just hope for a nail growth spurt.
Please stop Complimenting my kids’ “Good” Behavior goo.gl/fb/rwfojS
Hard pass from me pic.twitter.com/VayvW1eopK
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.
Parenthood is when you start counting the minutes to bed time before 11am.
ALL the Movies Revealed at Disney’s D23 Expo! goo.gl/fb/Bdr8vT