I didn’t say yes!

Even though I hadn’t given my brother an answer on taking over Preston’s caretaking, in his usual impulsive fashion he jumped the gun and told his baby-mama I would and they went ahead and fired their current babysitter… meaning they now have no one BUT me. I didn’t say yes, but the decision was made for me.

I’m not quite sure how to feel about it. I didn’t have time to fully make a decision for the family on whether or not it would be a good idea- and now I have to anyways because I definitely don’t want to leave them out in the cold. Damn you, Biff!

I babysat Preston tonight when his mom had a doctor’s appointment and Biff had to go to work.. sort of like a trial run I guess, and I have to say- it was overwhelming. Stressful and instead of being able to relax and sit back like I usually do with my two kids who are relatively independent, I had to watch them all at ALL times. Preston says and does a lot of things we don’t allow in this house, not that it’s abnormal to say or do those things, but it just doesn’t fly here. It’s going to take a while to break him of those habits and get all of the kids working as a unit, getting along, and not feeding off of eachothers craziness.

I can’t lie and say that I think this is going to work because I honestly don’t know if it will. Just an hour was enough to stress me out and make me rethink the whole thing (even though I didn’t originally agree to it). For the long haul? If it doesn’t calm down I don’t think it will work for all of us, and I do have to think about my kids first and foremost.

All the concerns I had when the idea was presented I still have, including other concerns that came up today. With Preston in a new place and having to adapt to us and the way we do things and all of the new toys.. I did tonight feel like I was spending more time with him than my own kids and that slightly concerns me. I like my alone time with my boys and I don’t want that to disappear.

I’m going to give it a shot though. My brother could use the help, and i’m good at potty training kids, and we need the money. I just hope it turns out to be a positive thing and not more harm than good.

Here goes nothing I guess. Preston shows up tomorrow at 8am. Wish me luck!

Posted on March 1, 2011 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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