Somehow, don’t ask me how, but we missed Parker’s 15 month check up. Actually, we never even made it! We may love our new(ish) pediatrician’s office, but they do NOT do a good job of reminding us when to make an appointment, and generally if you try to make one for the next “well-baby”- they won’t even have the books made for that far in advance… so then you have to remember to call back in however many months to make it, good luck doing that! My memory just isn’t that good.
Parker turns 18 months in one week exactly. ANOTHER well-baby visit that’s supposed to be made! I actually hadn’t even thought of it when I forced Thomas to call and make an appointment last month, I was really thinking about missing that 15 mo. check up and how we’d also failed to get the boys their flu boosters. Seriously, we suck.
When we went in today, the nurse was under the impression we were there for Parker’s 18 month check up, which he very well could have been… but we still had to play catch up. Poor kid had three needles coming his way. And they were out of the flu mist for Holden, so all the teasing i’d been doing all morning about Holden getting poked with a needle (made him SO mad) that I thought was in jest turned out to be true. Oops.
As far as Parker’s check up went, we weren’t told anything we didn’t know… other than his head size. He’s in the 5th% for weight, 50th for height, and 90th for head! 90th!!!All those jokes I made about Parker looking like a human pez dispenser weren’t so far off. The kid has a MASSIVE noggin. And all those jokes Thomas made when Parker was an infant about him looking like Morbo from Futurama that pissed me off may not have been so far off either.
When it came time for shots, Parker did just as i’d expect. Screamed for a minute or so and got over it… but Holden blew me away! First he insisted I hold him, and then once he was popped in the arm with the needle he LOST IT. No Holden, I didn’t need my eardrum! He then proceeded to bitch about it for the rest of the day, spazzing out if you got anywhere near his arm or tried to remove his bandaid. I know shots suck, but one does not hurt THAT much. Parker was over it in under 120 seconds. Holden took until after bath time was over to finally let it go… although i’m positive i’ll hear more bitching and moaning about it tomorrow.
Like every other well-baby check up, as we were leaving they gave us a piece of paper listing what they think your kid should be doing as far as milestones go, and a couple of other no-brainer pieces of parenting advice. Don’t leave your kid in a car in hot weather! Don’t leave them alone in the bathtub, they might drown! But there’s always things on there that are listed that your little one “should” be doing that seem impossible. I don’t know where they get these milestones from, suppose they just assume every baby should be a mega-genius. 15-20 words? Putting together full sentences? At 18 months old? Seriously? I don’t know any 18 month old, outside of those ridiculous “your baby can read” commercials, that can say that many words let alone string them together.
I swear just for shits and giggles they throw in one little tidbit just to throw you off your game after making you feel like your kid should ride the short bus. This check-ups fun fact?
“Expect curiosity about genitalia”
You don’t say??? If that’s supposed to be a new milestone for an 18 month old, Parker must be a penis-genius. He’s been playing with his nonstop for months!
Anyways, i’m just glad it’s over and Parker doesn’t have to go back until he’s two. He seems to be over the ordeal (he whined pretty much the entire time), but Holden was still mad before bed. He told me that I have 3 lines in my forehead and then took it upon himself to count them. Ass. I’m going to sell him on Craigslist just to earn the money for botox! How do ya like them apples??
Did you know that toothpaste becomes stronger than concrete if left on surfaces for too long? I didn't either. Thanks, kids!
Y'all can keep your creepy little elves- my kids live in fear of the PRESENT PRISON. holdinholden.com/2014/12/the-…
Cut Yourself some Christmas Slack goo.gl/fb/4WVJe2
My day as a parent isn't complete until I've threatened to sell at least one of my children on the black market. Twice. At least.
He only has himself to blame pic.twitter.com/UffL59jSmz
I'm forever teaching my kids to never say never... but... I'm breaking my own rules, here. NEVER EVER EVER will there be an elf on my shelf. Here's why: holdinholden.com/2012/11/why-…
If you have the desire to be in charge of someone else's bedtime who listens to you even less than you listen to yourself when you say "GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!"- having kids is definitely for you.