This blog is no stranger to the subject of poop- we all know that. I estimate that out of ALL the blogs i’ve ever written, 45% have at least something to do with poop. That’s just how much I write about it. Some people consider themselves connoisseurs of wine, some of movies, some of food- but me? I’m the connoisseur of poop. Sometimes you just gotta own it!
Generally, everyone always finds my blogs about bodily excrement hilarious. Cringe worthy yes, but also very funny.. because i’ve always been pretty decent at wording my experiences with #2 cleverly enough to walk that thin line between hilarious and heave-worthy.
Well, it appears that last night’s blog may very well have crossed that line. Personally, I thought it was hilarious.. only because I wasn’t smelling it anymore, and because i’d been through it myself and NOTHING could be worse than that- but over the course of last night and today I received 3 comments from 3 separate people saying the blog made them anywhere from slightly queasy to nauseous enough to have to take some pepto (although I blame that mostly on an over sensitive stomach).
Now I can’t be sure what threw it over that line- but i’d imagine it was most likely the comparing liquid diarrhea to a machine gun exploding into the toilet (ok, seriously, i’m STILL chuckling about that one), or maybe saying it was like he was peeing out of his butt (also one of my favorites!)
I suppose some people just don’t find poop as funny as me.. but I figure if I can sit through it and smell it and SEE it with an upset stomach and still find it funny the next day- other people should be able to as well!
Maybe for future blogs I should have to learn that SICK poops are not funny, just disturbing.. while rogue turds and the occasional blowout and eye burning farts are.
And I suppose after a blog like last night I shouldn’t tell you that Holden crapped his pants twice today and it had the consistency of wet sand.. and that as the day progressed Parker’s began to match, which is disturbing on many levels. Perhaps I should refrain from describing the smell as year old left open cat food mixed with a body rotting in a sewer..
Hey, but at least I didn’t explain last night that the vomit was orange and chunky and sprayed the wall like a water balloon, or that Holden’s poop was so liquidy that it saturated his sock and turned it a lovely shade of tan. At least I didn’t go that far! That definitely would have been crossing the line, don’t you think?
You wouldn't sniff a stranger's butt to see who pooped their pants.... so you probably shouldn't do these other parental things to strangers, either. holdinholden.com/2017/12/weir…
Weird Things you do for your kids but not Strangers goo.gl/fb/oVuwvG
Tis the season! pic.twitter.com/5VgMLnt22E
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.