There comes a time in life where we all experience “too much of a good thing.”
Something you like so much, that you can get so freely and in such bulk quantity or for such a long time that it becomes sadly unappealing. Not so interesting or special or fun anymore.
I’m not saying that poop was ever a good thing, not technically anyways, but as you all know I certainly get a kick out of writing about it and disgusting the masses.. but after today? I have had enough! NO MORE POOP!
Even for someone who can make what is likely the most horrid poop experiences on earth into a funny little tale.. what’s been going on in this house for the past week, capped off by today, is just not funny anymore! It’s horrible and disgusting and I fear my view on things of the bowel nature will never be quite as light hearted again.
I can’t tell you that anything incredibly horrible happened to me today. There was no trail of poop on the floor, no diarrhea being sprayed onto the wall with the force of a power washer, no leaky sewage diapers.. Nothing like that. The problem was the sheer VOLUME of poop I had to deal with. No one should have to see that much poop. No one. And what has been seen can not be unseen!!
We must have gone through at least 15 diapers today. And i’m being conservative in that estimate. After changing 4 liquid shit diapers in under 20 minutes, I sort of lost track.
There is no eating.. it’s just chugging liquid, whining, and then shitting. And it always sounds very angry. And it always smells. And it always takes EVERYTHING I have to not hurl.
Oh, yes, and then the vomiting. It’s not calculated out like it was with Holden, every 15 minutes there was a puke. It’s random.. but usually in the middle of a meal and for no reason. I see weight loss in Parker’s future.
The puking, never though i’d say this, I can handle. Not the poop. I can’t handle any more poop. I can feel my stomach dying with each diaper I have to change.
I suppose this is karmic retribution for the blog the other night that supposedly made people nauseous. Though I figured it was only fair since I spent the majority of me birthday night out crapping in a dirty dive bar’s bathroom.
For now, poop is on my shit list because if I have to change one more diaper full of what looks like beef broth I really might die.
Roadtrip me takes joy in watching the kids panic as the life drains from their electronics. Yes, I brought chargers. They don't know that.
9yo: My nose is drowsy Me: You mean running? 9: I guess I mean my eyes are drowsy Me: So, you're tired? 9: No Me: .. 9: .. Mondays are hard
Frying pans. Who knew, right? pic.twitter.com/usSQcFGpmI
Just did this yesterday and it was everything 9 year old me could have dreamed of pic.twitter.com/imYQlUmSVn
LIVE on Twitch tonight -- come say hi! twitch.tv/holdinholden
As I embark on an 11 day trip with my kids, this is especially fitting. VACATIONS WITH KIDS ARE MANUAL LABOR! holdinholden.com/2016/03/vaca…