Every few months a day comes along that literally makes me feel like I am absolutely going to lose my mind. I feel crazy most days, no doubt about that, but not crazy enough to get carted off in a white van and locked in a padded cell. it takes a very special (terrible) day to make me feel like the world has gone mad.
It’s not like I ever get a break from lunacy around here, but today.. oohhhhh today. I wish I could wake up and do it over again. The whole thing wasn’t what I would consider terrible, but looking back on it right now, as the kids are FINALLY in bed.. it was definitely a day i’d like to forget if I ever make it to old age and start erasing things from my brain.
I’m not the only one am I? Where you go through today thinking.. Yep, this is it! This is the day I start speaking in tongues and eating chalk!
We all woke up late this morning. I guess that in itself might be a good thing.. for everyone but Thomas anyways. We never get to sleep past 7:45, even on the weekends.. and this morning I think it must have been 8:15 when I snapped to attention and had to shake Thomas until he was out of his dead sleep.
Sleeping in is nice, but not when it puts you so far behind schedule that you can’t make time to work out.. meaning I felt like a lumpy fat ass all day.
And then the mail came. One good thing- a $5 bill and a survey to complete, gotta love getting paid in advance.. but one VERY bad thing. An ominous envelope from the IRS. Nothing good ever comes from the IRS.
I opened it up and about crapped my pants. “Hey, you did your 2009 taxes wrong and now you owe us $920 dollars by Feb 2nd!”
I was fuming. How in the hell could our taxes be done WRONG? We checked and double checked them. $920 is nothing to sneeze at.. that’s a hell of a lot of money. Money we most DEFINITELY do not have. That on top of the possibility that we might have to pay back the 8k tax credit we were told we’d NEVER have to return but now is looking likely?
I couldn’t understand WHY it was saying we owed the money, I just know it says we do.. and I am not happy.
In my fuming anger.. not even 5 minutes later, the heat goes out.. for the 5th time. Blasting cold air into the house. Great. I was told, when the heating guy came out last time, that the next time this happened.. to leave it on instead of turning it off so we wouldn’t get frozen to death by the fan.. so that the error code wouldn’t erase. So there I was, letting cold air blast into the house, the temperature dropping very quickly, waiting to hear if they’d even come out today.
It’s lucky that the stupid thing miraculously kicked back on, because guess who didn’t come out to look at the error code?
After that, Parker decided it would be fun to insist on going to the potty every 5 minutes.. letting me get him undressed from the waist down and sitting him on the potty.. only to get right back up and leave. I’d get his diaper and pants back on and he’d once again insist on going back to the potty. Only half the time actually doing anything in it. He just seemed to think it was a BLAST to sit down, get back up, and watch me struggle. I ended up leaving his pants off because I was just so sick of getting them on and off so many times.
Holden spent his entire nap time talking to himself instead of sleeping no matter how many times I scolded him to go to sleep.. which I knew meant he’d be a huge ass for the rest of the day. He always is when he doesn’t get a nap.
He and Parker spent the rest of the day dumping out bins of toys, fighting over things, screaming, yelling.. chasing each other, and giving me a migraine.
Parker screamed and whined the entire way through dinner while Holden complained that it was “too spicy” and refused to feed himself.
Bed time was like a late Christmas present for me. It is FINALLY quiet! If only tomorrow were Saturday I wouldn’t have such a looming feeling of dread about how loud and obnoxious the day is inevitably going to be.
A nice, quiet, padded cell is looking pretty good right about now.
What you REALLY need to make Holiday (or ANY) Travel Bearable goo.gl/fb/1BdFtj
Other moms: I finished Christmas shopping for my kids in June! Me: pic.twitter.com/FT3tlWGWd2
@CJPendragon learn something new every day!
@WeberWriting Absolutely. It takes a bit of time and juggling but it is 100% doable. Just have to ignore the sanctimommies of the world
Don't feel bad for tossing frozen chicken strips in the oven and calling it dinner. Don't even feel bad if you don't turn them over. holdinholden.com/2016/05/shit…
To the piece of crap who broke into my car over the weekend- You think you found nothing of value to steal, but you actually took with you the nasty head cold my family has been passing around in that very vehicle for the past week. Enjoy, scumbag! xoxo, Germ Infested SUV
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"