Life as I know it is over! No longer are the days of letting the boys play in any room without worry that something terrible is going to happen.. because now Parker can climb on things he never had the ability to reach before.
This was something I sort of suspected would happen but had not really prepared myself for. While Parker has ALWAYS been a climber, Holden never was. Not once. People always warned me “oh he’ll be climbing all over things in no time!”– wrong. Never happened.
Holden waited until he was out of his “i’m an idiot and am going to fall off of everything and smash my face on the floor” stage before he attempted to climb on things he could potentially fall off of and get hurt. Smart? Maybe. Couldn’t get his fat ass up there? More likely.
I’ve never had to deal with this problem before or worry about a kid falling face first into the floor from large heights. It’s making me incredibly paranoid.
I’ve caught Parker attempting to climb up on the train table in Holden’s room MANY a time. A few times he’s been successful, but that was always with the help of a toy strategically placed under his foot to give him leverage.
Not today, no. I caught him on the chair in Holden’s room, bouncing back and forth from it to the ottoman.. which is dangerously close to Holden’s bed and with just the right amount of stretching he could reach it. And of course, as soon as I walked away, I heard a loud thud and muffled crying. Guess who fell and got stuck in between the chair and the ottoman? Holden is no help, he was hanging over top of him saying “i’m sorry Parker! I’m sorry!” but not calling me for help. And then as I tried to pull Parker OUT of the crack, Holden topples in on top of him. What a pair those two make!
Twice today I caught Parker on the couch, of course with bad influence Holden, bouncing and making strange sound effects. And I know there was no leverage to help Parker onto the couch.
He has now opened up a whole new dangerous world for himself.. one he is OBSESSED with exploring.
Even with all the baby proofing in the world, you can’t exactly baby proof a couch, can you? Other than as a friend suggested, lining the house in bubble wrap- everything else seems to fall short. If I put pillows around the couch- that just gives him even better leverage to get up there. I do not want to encourage climbing. I do not like this climbing.
I’m going to end up super gluing Parker’s ass to the floor.
Even as I type this (because I got the inspiration early), he’s in Holden’s room screaming and grunting and attempting to climb onto Holden’s chair, most likely just to topple off onto his head yet again, adding to his massive collection of facial bruises.
I’d be more comfortable if the kid weren’t such a MASSIVE klutz, or if he could walk.. or if his face didn’t seem to have a magnet in it attracted only to the floor, and the table, and anything else with a sharp edge.
It’s quiet in the house again.. I can only imagine that quiet means bad things. Off I go to yank a baby from a high place… and promptly chain him to the floor.
Oh and one last note: I’ve noticed that my old blogs, while I had FAR less readers at the time (not that I have an astounding amount now, but more than then) got WAY more comments. People have taken to commenting my Facebook with the link I post about the new blog. Comment here! Facebook folks and blog readers- i’d love to hear from you again! I miss the comment chats… and wars.
You wouldn't sniff a stranger's butt to see who pooped their pants.... so you probably shouldn't do these other parental things to strangers, either. holdinholden.com/2017/12/weir…
Weird Things you do for your kids but not Strangers goo.gl/fb/oVuwvG
Tis the season! pic.twitter.com/5VgMLnt22E
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.