People may think i’m an eternal pessimist- but I was right! My birthday was plagued by sickness.
Holden unfortunately just didn’t get any better. Once he finally stopped puking (24 hours and a few dry heaves later), he spiked a fever.
I got so paranoid at that point about Parker or I getting sick that I think my mind actually started making my stomach upset. Power of suggestion at work there. I didn’t necessarily feel like throwing up.. more the other way. Just a really nasty feeling all around, but I was determined to suck it up and still go out.
After I ate dinner, Taco Bell (bad choice) it went downhill. My ass got downright angry and let me know.
Once my friends started showing up to go out was when I started to feel like I was going to heave. Just great, i’ll have to send everyone home!
Still I sucked it up, drank some water, and went out to do some karaoke with my best lady friends.
It’s not to say we didn’t have a good time. They were all wonderful.. but the whole time my stomach felt like there was a war going on. I feel sorry for the people who went in the bathroom after me. I just felt downright awful. The whole point of going out was to be able to let go and have fun without the kids, to relax and have a few drinks- but I could barely manage to get one down.
Once I got home I thought I was feeling better, no more attacking the toilet.. but I woke up and it came right back. And I wasn’t the only one! Holden’s ass started to leak. Literally. It was leaking runny crap everywhere. And his temperature was over 102. I knew then it would be likely all my birthday plans would be canceled. There was just no way Holden could go out of the house with how he was feeling. He could barely even eat or drink anything. For the last 3 days he lived off of dry cheerios and water.
We had plans to go to Denny’s for a late breakfast since I received a free coupon from them for my birthday. That was shot. I felt so sick I skipped breakfast altogether.
Since we couldn’t go out for lunch, Thomas ran out and got me a favorite dish from one of my favorite restaurants- but that proceeded to make me sick too.
Upon hearing just how sick Holden was, my Dad decided to scrap my birthday dinner. No one, and I mean NO ONE wants to catch what Holden has. Two years in a row my birthday dinner gets canceled because of things that are out of my control. Shitty.
I’m really not sure I can handle any more bodily excrement from anyone. Holden is walking around with a leaky ass and gag inducing farts.. who knows what tomorrow will bring. Even as i’m writing this blog i’m suppressing the urge to crap. It’s that bad.
I suppose I can say one great thing came out of today.. sort of a ‘dream come true’ kind of moment- but I can’t say much more about it yet than that. Ray of sunshine in this very cloudy crap filled birthday.
I’m skipping next year! And that’s that!
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times