Every toddler gets bumps and bruises. It just comes with the age. Navigating a world that has just opened up to them.. filled with sharp corners and hard unforgiving floors. A day that goes by when your kid doesn’t fall and get a boo-boo? That should be considered a very lucky day.
Parker must have unknowingly made his way under the same unlucky ladder as I did- because that kid is a walking.. er.. allow me to rephrase- a NOT walking catastrophe.
That makes it even more perplexing actually. How can a kid who doesn’t walk get SO many bumps and bruises in a single day?
He goes well above and beyond the average toddler in slips and spills. it’s almost as if he thinks Guinness Book of World Records is watching him every moment of every single day and he just HAS to break the record of most clumsy child.
When we take him out in public I swear people must think we beat the living hell out of him.
Today alone he has a busted lip on the bottom (plus the super swollen canine that has yet to erupt), busted gums on top,two bruises on his right cheek, and a lovely red mark right above his upper lip.
No, he did not engage Holden in a fist fight. The bottom busted lip was from falling and smacking his mouth on the table (lots of blood, lots of tears) two days ago. The LARGE cheek bruise is from falling and smacking his face on the floor (no blood, lots of tears). The red mark above his upper lip is from headbanging to music at the table during lunch and smacking his face into it, and the other two I honestly have no idea. Sometimes he just gets these things and I have no idea how. That is how much and how often he falls and hits his face on things.
Last week he had a black eye from, you guessed it, smacking his face on the table. That damn table. I should burn it.
I am inclined to believe that his clumsiness is hereditary, because I am no stranger to stupid accidents around this house. Scars from stupidly burning myself on the toaster oven, random bruises all over my arms and legs, and currently i’m limping from stepping on a toy car and bruising the arch in my right foot.
Thomas claims he is accident prone as well, but personally I think he’s just a big fat crybaby.
Dear people writing articles on ways to get siblings to get along, I'll save you the time. The answer is "Don't let them play together"
Please stop Complimenting my kids’ “Good” Behavior goo.gl/fb/rwfojS
Hard pass from me pic.twitter.com/VayvW1eopK
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.
Parenthood is when you start counting the minutes to bed time before 11am.