Where’s the love?

The deal when you give birth to a little boy, as a woman, is that you’re supposed to get a “momma’s boy.” That’s just the way things go. Girls love daddy, boys love mommy. It’s the balance of the universe. It’s the way things always are supposed to be.

When I had Holden, it seemed the prophecy was fulfilled. He LOVED me. Always wanted me. Wanted to be around me all the time, and always came to me when he was upset. And then Parker was born.. and the balance of the universe shifted. Holden instantly switched from total momma’s boy to daddy’s boy. Couldn’t stand to be around me. Just wanted Daddy ALL THE TIME. Wouldn’t even hug me.

As time went on, the apparent anger at me from bringing in another crotch blossom into the house and ruining his reign as the one and only faded, and he went back to loving me- but never returned to normal. He stayed a daddy’s boy, much to my dismay.

Of course, when i’m the only one home, I am the center of his universe.. but as soon as Thomas walks through the door- it’s all about him and i’m just an unwanted intruder. To say that i’m displeased about the change of events would be an understatement. I loved when Holden would cuddle up with me all the time instead of Thomas.. but I had Parker- who for the first months of his life couldn’t stand to be around ANYONE but me.

Being that we weren’t, and aren’t, planning on having any more children for a VERY long time, if ever.. I figured it would stay that way for a while. At least i’d have ONE child who loved mommy most of all
The glee of being top dog, numero uno, was short lived to say the least. Slowly but surely, Parker started favoring Daddy as well. And even MORE intensely than Holden.

When Thomas is home, Parker doesn’t want ANTYTHING to do with me. He wants Thomas, and ONLY Thomas. He wants Thomas to hold him, he follows Thomas around and cries at his feet until he’s picked up.. if I dare pick him up? He cries and reaches for Thomas instead. And it’s even worse out in public. Parker is not satisfied in the slightest unless he is in Thomas’ arms.

It’s a huge kick to the ego… which is already bruised from being swiftly kicked out of the number 1 spot on Holden’s list of favorite people.

And honestly it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. I’m the nice one! I put up with their crap all day long, every single day, without flinching and rarely getting frustrated like Thomas does after 5 minutes- and still they want him over me!

A stay at home mom is a relatively thankless job. We don’t get paid in anything but hugs and kisses and sometimes those are few and far between. Kids don’t understand all the effort we put in- and without knowing, they take advantage of poor exhausted mommy. They get tired of seeing us all day long- and see Daddy coming home as a break from mommy time.

I can’t tell you how ecstatic I was two weeks ago when Holden woke up SO hysterical that he was practically blue in the face from screaming- and he wanted ME! He wouldn’t let Thomas come near him, just wanted me to hold him.. and I did it VERY happily, even if Holden was screaming bloody murder for no apparent reason, it was pure bliss to a deprived mommy.

My only hope is that when they get older, the balance of the universe switches back from temporary opposite life and my boys turn BACK into Momma’s boy as I was promised. It will be sweet sweet victory at last.

Posted on December 4, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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