Environment or nature?

It’s hard to explain without getting confusing- but each day I notice the boys getting more alike yet different at the same time.
I’m aware that they ARE in fact different people, and therefore will be different.. but I do have to wonder if some of it isn’t due to the environments they were raised in that caused some of the glaring differences.

When Holden was born and up until he was about a year and a half old, we lived in a small townhouse that wasn’t exactly child friendly. He spent most of his time in the living room with a baby gate to prevent him from getting into the kitchen and more specifically the cats litterbox and the stairs to the second floor.
Parker on the other hand has always had full reign of the house we live in now and have lived in since well before he was born. He hasn’t ever been kept in one room for the majority of his time because this house is far more safe for children than the previous.

You’d think this would make Parker more independent and Holden more clingy, but really it’s just the opposite. Holden has always been very independent. Goofy, but serious at the same time. It was hard to get a good laugh out of him. He very specifically chose the things he’d laugh at. He also wasn’t a fan of being held ALL the time. If I told him to come to me? He’d crawl away.

Parker on the other hand is the clingiest child on earth.. which I think has more to do with him being sick for so long and held so much of the time. Even with full access to the house, he’ll always only play in a room where someone is there. Whether it be following Holden around, or clinging on to Thomas or I like a leech- he just isn’t as independent as Holden was. He’s also a LOT sillier. He laughs at absolutely EVERYTHING. Parker is either crying about something, or laughing. Maybe he’s bipolar.

Holden’s independence and maturity I think is what made it so easy to get him into potty training. I don’t think Parker will be so simple. The kid is far more stubborn than Holden could even DREAM of being. If I try to sit Parker somewhere he doesn’t want to be? He freaks. Throws a mini hissy fit. Holden was never that strong willed. He may not have wanted to sit on the potty, but he’d do it without much of a fight and stay there for as long as he had to. I think Parker would be done and screaming within 5 seconds.

What Parker really has going for him is his creativity and how fast he picks up on things by watching others. Something Holden never had the opportunity to do since when he was born I didn’t have many mommy friends, and he had no older sibling like Parker does.
Holden to this day doesn’t like to doodle. He’ll draw in a coloring book, and likes to finger paint- but if I give him a blank sheet of paper he has no interest in coloring on it. Even outside with the sidewalk chalk, he draws a few lines and then runs away to play with something else.
Parker already loves to color with crayons. Inside, outside, he will color anywhere. Holden was still eating crayons at Parker’s age. Parker grew out of that about a month ago. I think where the downfall will be is when I find crayon all over my walls by Parker’s hand.. something Holden NEVER did.

They both share an interest in cars, of course. Holden picked that obsession up all on his own, and I think Parker was lead by example. I catch them all the time driving those things around together
I’m hoping another thing they’ll share, that i’ll be able to share with them is music. Both kids love to dance, which they do almost all day long. Holden already is insisting on a guitar for his 4th birthday.. and says that Parker will play the piano. Pop out one more boy and i’ll have the next Jonas brothers/Hanson on my hands.

I’m also hoping that Parker takes after Holden in that once he starts walking, he’ll become a hell of a lot less whiny and clingy. He might destroy my house a lot faster than he currently does, but at least my head won’t ache from all the bitching he does on a daily basis.

Posted on December 13, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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