It would figure the day I decide to stick Parker in a brand new shirt.. less than a half an hour in it would be covered and saturated in disgusting mess.
I don’t know why I bother, really! I went on and on about not wanting to put him in hand me downs because they’re ill-fitting, but isn’t it just as bad to buy him new clothes only to have them ruined in under an hour?
What’s worse- clothes that are too big, or clothes that are stained and just generally nasty looking?
Really it comes down to picking the lesser of two evils, and I do NOT want to pick between the two. Why can’t Parker just have SOME clothes that fit and aren’t stained orange? Always orange. I’m beginning to hate the color orange.. and right before Halloween!
Perhaps you’re thinking “Jenny, why don’t you put a bib on the kid??”- he’s ALWAYS wearing a bib while eating. And I must readjust the stupid thing at least 5 times to try and keep the food off and away from his clothes- but somehow, EVERY day, he manages to spit food, smear food, throw food, or splatter food underneath it.. without me noticing. So there’s almost always a disgusting little surprise waiting for me under his bib.
Even though the new shirt only cost about $2.50, it’s still ridiculously frustrating to watch it get smeared in crap almost immediately. And if you have kids, you know that baby vomit/spitup/food is very tricky to remove. Sometimes not even pre-treating, bleaching and washing works to get it out. Even with the best stuff on the market. Then you’re left with dingy ugly old looking new clothes. Major bummer.
It’s tempting just to make him eat shirtless from now on. I know a lot of people do that.. but it just seems like just as much of a pain in the ass to dress and undress that many times as to pre-treat and wash over and over.
If Parker could stop being so friggin’ messy for 5 seconds, it would be problem solved.. but I don’t see that EVER happening. The kid is totally disgusting. I’m just going to have to figure out a better way to keep his clothes clean. Just not sure what way that’s going to be.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times