In no way, shape, form, or farthest stretch of the imagination, not even in an alternate universe on opposite day could I ever be considered a morning person. I loathe mornings. I’ve always loathed mornings. I’m too big a fan of sleep, uninterrupted sleep to be more specific, to ever like mornings.
It started as just a mild hatred. Waking up at the ass-crack of dawn and rushing to get ready only to walk in the freezing cold, usually darkness to the bus stop to spend the day at school? Who would ever really be a fan of that? I think I started hating the mornings so much that my body began hating them as well. Somewhere around freshman year I developed what I lovingly referred to as “non pregnancy morning sickness.” Every single morning, I would get sick. Nausea, sweating, rear end burning sick. Not fun for a highschool student.
The only reason I liked waiting tables was because I didn’t have to wake up early to go to work, which meant no sickness. Hated the job, but loved not having to rush to the bathroom for the first hour or so of my day.
It became clear very early on that Holden did not share in my enthusiasm for sleeping in. At first it wasn’t so bad because I could just bring him into bed with me and typically he’d go back to sleep.. but the older he got, the more infrequently the sleep-ins became until they became non existent. A lot of mornings i’d drag myself out of bed only to pass out on the couch while Holden played in the living room. He didn’t find that as good of an idea as I did.
Even with daylight savings time, where you can sleep in later.. he’d still wake up early.
As time goes on, he still has not developed the ability to sleep in. He’s usually up at 7:30 or before, making himself known, therefore making it impossible to get those few crucial last minutes of sleep.
I suppose that usually it’s not that big of a deal. It’s not 6am, and usually he doesn’t wake Parker up in the process- who seems to share in my joy of sleeping until 8 (probably because he has a thumb to suck on).
This past week though? Holden’s early rising has become not just slightly irritating- but a complete pain in the ass.
Waking up much earlier than usual, stomping around the house and yelling for no reason. Refusing to come into bed quietly and lay down. He’s just not having anything to do with it. For someone who seems to dislike mornings so much- he sure does seem to enjoy waking up.
His evil early morning antics are not only annoying to me, but now he wakes Parker up too. And Parker does NOT early morning snuggle like Holden did at his age. He’s more the ‘crawl dangerously around the bed and smack people’ type.
So now, thanks to Holden- no one’s getting any sleep past 7. Leads to crankiness all around, especially from Parker. And it leads to me dozing off every time I sit down for more than a 5 minute stretch.
I told him, the next time he wakes up and it’s still dark outside- STAY IN BED. I don’t care if you’re awake, just stay there. Pretty sure that’s not going to work, but it was worth a shot.
I dream of the day I get to sleep in again! It’s not going to come for a very long time though.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times