Big fat hot mess

If it weren’t for getting my hair done this weekend, my entire self would be a steaming pile of hot mess. Since my hair is looking good (for now).. it’s really from the hair down that I am frustrated, horrified, angry, and sad about.

As much as I hate that ‘evil time of the month’, I swear it had better be right around to corner or I might as well throw myself off of a cliff.

After not getting the tonight up/weight loss I had wanted over the past few months (and depo hormones didn’t help that at all), I decided to step up my game so to speak.
What worked after giving birth to Holden to lose the belly is NOT working after Parker. Pilates and core training? Psh. No matter how much it burns or how much I swear, i’ve seen no difference whatsoever. I don’t really fully understand why, but it’s the unfortunate truth of the matter. So I started adding more cardio to the workouts.. which is essentially me running around in the house like a madwoman, with Holden running and following and yelling at me to keep going when I stop. He has become my personal trainer.

Even though I HATE it- I stayed on the Special K diet. It’s easy, and has worked in the past. Cereal for two meals a day? One would think the person doing that would HAVE to lose weight! Two out of 3 meals a day are only about 200 calories or less. I even curbed my snack.. those damn Ritz Munchables are hard to stop eating once you start!

I really have no idea what to do differently with the time I have to get this fat off of my midsection. I hate getting dressed. Everything fits.. but I look down and see that belly, and see those muffins hanging over my pants and just get sad about it. I feel uncomfortable and gross in my own skin, and the feeling increases substantially over time.

Ugh. At this point i’m tempted to take the money I make from blogging and surveys and save it toward friggin’ lipo instead of buying things like a new carpet for the living room or picture frames.. though I know I never will.

Posted on October 3, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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