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Perfecting the ‘Tude

As much as other moms have tried to scare me about Holden turning 3- saying things like “oh 3 is worse than two!” or “just you wait! It only gets worse!”.. I still hold to my hypothesis that you can find a mom to say that about every single age there is- just so they don’t feel like they have a monster child and that it “comes with the age.”
Terrible twos, terrible threes, terrible fours, terrible fives- if you go out and look i’d put money on that you could find a mom to claim they are all true.
Kids are pretty evil inherently. Let’s just face it.

Still, Holden has ALWAYS had an attitude.. He is just hard headed and persistent. Perhaps I just don’t notice the “terrible threes” developing because i’m so used to him having a turdy little ‘tude all the time.
Even knowing that, I wouldn’t say Holden’s is getting worse. He isn’t any more misbehaved than usual. No insane tantrums, hitting or biting or screaming. His focus is perfecting his ‘tude, not turning into a monster child. That kid can back-talk like it’s his job.
Nah- i’m not too worried about Holden.

The one I think we’re going to have to look out for is Parker. Without saying a word, he has THE biggest attitude on the planet.
Other than the whining and clinginess and following me around- he is basically a caveman. He grunts and yells at everything. He doesn’t want food? He shakes his head wildly and grunts. Or he just takes it and throws it. If you put it back on his tray, he throws it again.

And very recently he’s started pointing at things. But not nicely. He gives you a look.. and points at you. Very menacing. You ask him what he wants and he just furrows his brow and grunts and points again. Sorry Parker, I don’t speak caveman. I wish I knew what the hell it meant, but I can’t figure it out for the life of me.

All night tonight before bed he was grunting at Holden, and Holden would say “that’s really irritating, Parker!”.. and then Parker would grunt again. This went on for about 20 minutes straight. It’s enough to make even the most patient of people want to tear their hair out.

I used to imagine Holden’s voice before he could talk as Cartman.. Parker is more like Stewie Griffin. Plotting to conquer the world and take out Lois (or in our case, me).


Posted on September 1, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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