We have company in from out of town tonight so i’m going to keep this short and sweet- but I do have an issue to address. An EMERGENCY issue.
The Poddler has returned, once again, to make my life a living hell. And this time he’s out for blood. It’s not just attitude that’s been an issue today.. but bowel movements.
Normal, regular, slightly stubborn but sweet Holden typically poops ONCE per day, maybe twice if he’s feeling festive.
Do you want to know how many times Holden pooped today? No? Well that’s too bad, because you’re going to find out.
How does someone shit that many times in a day without there being something seriously bad going on in the stomach region?
There were no complaints, no warning.. this poop came on like a tsunami and didn’t let up.
You may be thinking- well, as long as those poops got in the potty, what does it matter?
And that’s where the problem lies.
How many poops out of size got in the potty? 1/2. Those are not good statistics, people.
Out of 6 poops, 4 were in his pants followed by absolute meltdowns.. He got halfway through another poop when we caught him and rushed him to the potty and wouldn’t let him up until he finished there.
The final poop? In the shower. And he insisted on holding it up to Thomas, asking him to take it, and then throwing it in the drain and crying when Thomas wouldn’t.
Guess who had to fish that disgusting slimy poop out of the drain? Mmhmmm, me. Fabulous experience.
At this rate, he’s lost privileges to all of his toys- and has been threatened with much harsher punishment the next time he does it. One crap in the pants I can take as an accident- 6 times and it starts to seem purposeful. It’s not liquid, so I don’t think it’s a stomach bug. It seems more like someone is desperately seeking attention and going about it in the exact OPPOSITE way as he should be.
Momma is not happy. Momma is tired of dry heaving trying to clean smeared toddler shit off of toddler ass and out of toddler underwear and out of bathtub drain. Momma may have to retaliate if he keeps this up.
Some kids know multiple languages, or are doing complex math problems, but I just said "hello" to my 8 year old and he responded with "is it me you're looking for?" so who's the real winner here?
@AtypicalMiriam I am frightening *and* tall 😂
@AtypicalMiriam He fears me. I am the only female I this house. All penis people live in fear.
Me: Just ripped the ass out of my pants. I mean, they were OLD pants, but I feel like it's because I was bigger than I was 10 years ago. 10yo: Everyone's bigger than they were 10 years ago! I am! Me: YOU WERE AN INFANT 10 YEARS AGO 10yo: ... 10yo: *slowly backs out of room*
Person on tv: Age is just a number! 10yo: Yeah, a number that pulls you closer to death.
Party animal over here pic.twitter.com/OVpKPuu4Yc
Proving to my kids that they ARE Friends goo.gl/fb/QbSSNp