We all have “those days”, the ones where we just can’t wait until it’s over so we can wake up and start fresh. I think I have one of those at least twice a week.
Days like today put days like those to shame. I don’t like days like today.
Instead of telling a long drawn out story about just how the day went wrong and boring you, i’ll stick to the highlights.
I knew today would be bad after i’d already dozed off in bed last night and Thomas woke me up telling me he forgot the milk at the store. Milk is essential in the house. Holden drinks it like a fish, and I use it for 2 of my 3 meals (since 2 of my 3 meals are cereal.) Not having milk would be very bad.
Him not having actually bought the milk like he was supposed to would mean he was going to have to run to the store when he woke up in the morning.. which means Parker’s early ass breakfast duty would be my problem, which meant i’d have to wake up early.
Upon waking and getting Parker’s diaper changed, I realized his stomach medicine had expired and the new batch needed to be mixed.. which I don’t know how to do- and Thomas was already at the store. We’ve had disastrous experiences with giving him his medicine AFTER eating.. namely puking up breakfast and the medicine making the whole morning a waste- but it had to be done.
And breakfast was new (yogurt) so he was either MEH about it, or whined. He also had very soft chunks of apple (another new thing) which he would put in his mouth and spit back out multiple times and didn’t actually swallow any of.
All through breakfast he threw tantrums because I wouldn’t let him pull up on Holden’s tray.. and then when medicine time came, he got absolutely hysterical and sure enough- puked all over the carpet. He stayed hysterical for another 30 minutes. All before 8:30. Not a good start to the day.
By the time Holden decided to crap his pants I was too frustrated and mentally exhausted to even have any kind of emotion about it- but HE got hysterical and stayed that way.
Lunch wasn’t too bad.. if you don’t count Parker stealing Holden’s food and Holden being so pissed about it that he cried. Followed by him being mean to Parker for pretty much the rest of the day. Holden is NEVER mean to other kids.. guess he’s just not used to a baby following him around and actually wanting to play with him instead of it being the other way around.
I’ve never said “don’t be mean!” so many times in one day.
Snack time, which is usually Parker’s favorite time of the day did NOT happen. He refused to eat any of his favorites.. and then Holden convinced himself that he crapped his pants and stood in the dining room with butt cheeks clenched screaming about it. Only to get to the bathroom and no poop in the pants. Which is a good thing, but GAH the whining.
It was too hot outside to take the boys out and escape the whining, since they’re both happy outside. So inside we stayed, and Parker wouldn’t let me move more than 2 feet away from him the whole time… other than when he desperately tried to pull up on the TV stand and couldn’t. More whining.
Before dinner we had to go and scoop up some outdoor toys we scored off of freecycle for Holden, and missed the turn.
Went to dinner at Chick-Fila because it was kids night AND because we had a coupon.. and Parker once again acted like the Cow was the devil incarnate and that thing would NOT leave him alone. I think the person in the cow suit thought it was funny to watch a baby’s face crumple in absolute terror just at the sight of him.
Holden insisted on having his face painted.. so we waited in line for a good 10 minutes with this incredibly annoying little boy who thought the baby food all over Parker’s face was face paint, and as soon as it was his turn and she started he asked to get out of the chair and wash his face. I convinced him to stay and get it done.. and it looked awesome. He didn’t seem the least bit excited.
We drove home with Parker crying in tropical storm like weather.
Night ended with Thomas upsetting Parker so much during his bed time bottle that he simultaneously puked and crapped his pants. Way to go, Thomas. Of course, I had to take him to calm him down and wipe his ass. Yay me.
And now there’s a fly in this house that is seriously out for blood. I’ve smacked that thing at least 5 times and made contact over the past 3 days and it just won’t die.
Oh, and Chick Fila made my stomach sick.
Can tomorrow be better, please? Maybe i’ll wake up in Australia.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times