We’ve created a monster

And by WE, I really mean Thomas. Ever since he let Holden pee standing up at that Mexican restaurant, it is ALL Holden has wanted to do.
It has caused some hairy moments in this house.

Sitting down to pee might be a little dainty.. and occasionally messy (since Holden has to physically push his pecker DOWN or his pee goes haywire), is the most convenient method around here when there is only one adult home.
At home with two kids alone.. not easy when you physically have to take a child to the bathroom and hold their penis when they go to the bathroom. MUCH easier when they can just go, pull their pants down, and sit.. and then come and get you when they’re done. All you have to do is pull their pants back up.

Although, it’s a much FASTER process to let him just stand. He doesn’t lollygag or insist on playing with toys and then end up taking 5 minutes for a tiny tinkle. He LOVES to stand up and pee. He pulls his stool over to the big potty (since we learned stand up peeing in the small potty is cause for disaster), gets up there, puts his hands on the back of the toilet and goes.. all the while yelling “LOOK AT IT!!!”
In and out in under 2 minutes. I still haven’t gotten the hang of aiming that thing. You think you’re aiming low and it still sprays the back of the toilet. Such a weird process.

The problem lies in that if I have Parker asleep on me, Holden STILL insists on going to the bathroom to “stand up pee.” I try to tell him I can’t get up to help him, and he needs to go and sit down.. and he freaks. Wants nothing to do with it. It’s gotten to the point where he gets so mad that he goes to the bathroom and I THINK attempts to sit down and just gets piss all over EVERYTHING. Which ends with me having to wake Parker up, get up.. and go scrub down the bathroom and change Holden’s clothes. Not fun times in the slightest.

What needs to happen? Holden needs to learn to hold his own pecker, and get up and down from the stool without busting his ass since his pants are around his ankles.
As interesting an experience as it’s been to learn how to pee with a penis, i’d like it to end sooner rather than later.

Posted on July 10, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
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