Vertical Peeing

Since we began our journey into potty training (which I suppose is technically completed.. other than the act of pulling pants up on his own), i’ve always wondered “at what age do boys start standing to pee?”
I don’t have a penis, I don’t know these things. All I know is that Holden seriously lacks skill in the aim department. And that’s with a large object. Not to make fun of his ‘manhood’, but let’s be honest here- toddler equipment is small. It can’t be easy to grab, hold, and aim into a relatively small hole for a child with the very little coordination he has.

Sitting down to pee isn’t so bad. I suppose for a man it would become awkward to walk into a bathroom full of urinals only to bypass them and go cop a squat on the toilet when you don’t have to go #2. For women, not so weird. Can’t imagine peeing openly in front of strangers.. I don’t care if there’s a barrier. It’s weird.

I hadn’t even considered letting Holden attempt a vertical pee. Suppose I figured that would be Thomas’ call since he knows what it’s like to not only HAVE a penis, but aim one.. and possibly might remember WHEN he learned and how hard or easy it was.

It wasn’t until we went out to dinner with some friends for Thomas’ birthday and Holden INSISTED on going to the bathroom right as the food came that he decided to give it a go. And ONLY because there was a weird little urinal only a few inches off of the floor.
He said Holden did well, but obviously did not hold his own pecker. Just stared like watching pee come out of himself and go through the air was the coolest thing in earth.

Since then, randomly, he’s been helping Holden pee standing up in the bathroom. Never me, i’m not all that sure about it.

Tonight though, Thomas told me to go ahead and give it a try.

Fear. I don’t have a penis, i’ve never had to hold one and aim. But I sucked it up and gave it a shot anyways.
I can say one thing: I am GLAD I don’t have a penis. I don’t know if it’s ALL penises, but they are not easy to control. That thing went wild like a fire hose. Continually had to readjust while Holden was laughing hysterically at my misfortune and bad aim. I didn’t miss the potty, but I definitely got pee all over the seat.

Holden seems to enjoy it.. maybe if only for the rush of watching himself pee, but I think it will be a LONG while before he can handle holding onto it himself. I do not trust him ONE bit not to get excited and just spray pee all over the bathroom. Not a mess I want to clean up.

Posted on July 4, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
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