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Poor Holden, when will he learn??

With all these commercials talking about regulating your digestive system, we as adults have learned that not pooping every day is a BAD thing for our systems. Backing yourself up can cause a lot of issues in your tummy and your general sense of well-being.

Toddlers do not know this. Especially not stubborn toddlers.. such as Holden. He has become so confident in his pooping skills that he doesn’t think he has to go every day (when he used to go 2-3 times a day).. backing himself up to the point where he ends up crapping his pants because he just can’t hold it anymore.

After getting in trouble more than a few times, he has learned not to completely crap his pants- but still for some odd reason refuses to poop every day like I know he needs to. Every other day he takes a MASSIVE crap.. larger than an adult.. and strains to do so. I keep reminding him: you NEED to go poop, Holden. It’s good for you! Pooping is important!
The kid just won’t listen.. and today I think he finally learned his lesson.

After not pooping at ALL yesterday, today after Thomas got him we both informed him how important it was to empty himself out every day so he didn’t poop his pants and lose his toys again.
Right after dinner I saw him get a very panicked/pained look on his face. I knew right then.. he needed to go, or possibly had already gone. I grabbed him up and ran him to the bathroom.. getting my belt loop caught on the stupid bathroom door for a good 30 seconds.
Finally got Holden seated on the potty and he rested his head on my arm and pushed.
I heard a plop.. and then Holden started to scream.
“MY BUTTHOLE!! MY BUTTHOLE!” while giving himself the reach around and grabbing himself in pain. Screaming turned to crying and screaming.. and both Thomas and I looked in the toilet thinking he’d dropped something large enough to tear himself almost in half and therefore cause pain.. but it was a smaller than usual turd.

I imagine it must have been VERY hard.. possibly sharp (you know you’ve had one of those in the past! don’t lie!) poop that hurt his poor little poop chute.

As a mom.. I inspected the situation, as any mom would do. I bent him over, spread those cheeks, and made sure his hole wasn’t bleeding. Looked ok to me. But the poor thing was still writhing in pain and crying.. so I did the only thing I could do.
I took out the dermaplast from when I gave birth to Parker (relieves nether-region pain), bent Holden over- and sprayed his crack down like a dog that’s been rolling in the mud for two hours.

What, you may ask, was his reaction?
“Thank you!”

I felt the same way when my snatch was throbbing from almost tearing myself in half popping Parker out in such a short period of time.

A few minutes later I asked him how his butthole felt.. His response may leave me laughing for days:

“AWESOME!”

ROFL. Literally.

Maybe now Holden will learn that pooping every day instead of every OTHER day is important to the health and well-being of his fragile little poop-chute. Hemorrhoids at such a young age would be a NIGHTMARE. For all of us!


Posted on July 28, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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