It appears I did not decontaminate this house well enough after the last time both boys caught the mysterious airborne constipation bug.
I’m not actually 100% sure it fully went away from the last time but things had at least improved to where neither kid was crying and pushing and not passing anything.
The bug is back for round two, and with a serious vengeance. This house is a very irritable place right now.. and i’m not talking about me.
I honestly have never seen Parker so miserable in his life. Not even five minutes passes where he hasn’t pushed or grunted at least one time. All he does ALL day is try to poop, and at the most he gets out a solitary round nugget. This never relieves him even slightly though.. so he has spent all day, turning red in the face and pushing as hard as he can.. and then crying because it just isn’t doing anything. He’s pushing SO hard, in fact, that he’s broken the blood vessels around his eyes. Not even the laxatives we gave him this morning helped move anything along. Another dose this evening and still no progress in the colon region.
The only thing left to do is anal stimulation.. seriously the least appealing thing on the face of the earth. As a parent, you learn very quickly that you’re going to have to do things that in any other circumstance in life you would NEVER do. You wouldn’t even CONSIDER doing. Not even if you were paid a handsome sum. When it’s your kid, it’s a different story. Anything to make them happy.
Unfortunately for Holden, he is not escaping from this round of rock solid colon infesting poop. He is MAYBE pooping once a day now (down from 2-4 times), in a form I like to call ‘rabbit turds.’ Those are the kind that give small children serious tummy aches. He’s not crying all day like Parker.. his poop issues probably bother me more than him.
He’s gotten far too confident in his potty skills. He goes to the bathroom about 1/3 as much as he did 2 months ago. Instead of getting up from breakfast or lunch and going to the bathroom, he says to me “I don’t have to go, mommy.”
This all works just fine until he’s constipated and either has to poop but CAN’T for so long, or pretends he doesn’t have to go for so long that a big round turd just slips on out. Does he tell me? No. He lets me find them scattered randomly on the floor. I’ve said it in the past, I do NOT like to find rogue turds in my house. Especially not with a baby that will soon be mobile. The last damn thing on earth i’d ever want to witness and then clean up is a baby munching on a toddler’s crap ball.
How many times did I find turds on my floor today? Twice. He lost his Cars (all of them. That took a while) the first time around.. and freaked the hell out. So I told him if he’s poop in the potty, he’d get them all back. And then he turded on my floor again. I scrambled to find more things to take away while still leaving things to keep Parker occupied.
He of course waited to take a real crap until we were out to eat with my Dad, step mom, brother and his kid.. right in the middle of dinner. Figures.
The poo strike needs to end. Not just for my sanity’s sake because I can tell Parker is getting dehydrated because he’s so full of crap he doesn’t want to eat.
8yo told me that Oct 31st is "national knock-knock joke day"- which means Halloween will henceforth be known as "The Most Annoying Day Ever"
@SassyPsychDoc "It seemed like a good idea at the time"
@SassyPsychDoc I fact-checked him myself. Someone was seriously sleeping on the job that day
Thought my 8yo was lying when he said that a male woodchuck is a he-chuck & a female is a she-chuck.Nope. If I have to know that, so do you!
Sometimes advice from our kids is EXACTLY what we need to hear. Been a rough few months & what my 8yo said hit home holdinholden.com/2017/10/winn…
10yo: What is calculus? Me: It's you + me = us Husband: get out. #oldpeoplejokes
Bravery AND confidence pic.twitter.com/voqjVXWgZx
@wildblueME I just don't tell them what I'm making anymore
Winning Advice from an 8-year old goo.gl/fb/MmhfYU