A few weeks ago (I think it was) I wrote about Parker’s selective stranger danger. Honestly, the kid seems to love just about everyone.
It’s not often that a stranger comes up to him and oogles him, baby talks, touches him and he freaks out…though I ALWAYS expect him to. I physically flinch and clench my body waiting for the hammer to drop and him to go hyper-sonic. Holden used to cry when ANYONE he didn’t know even looked in his general direction. Probably because they were always making comments on how fat he was.
Parker? He gets shy but 99% of the time he smiles at everyone. Especially the ladies.
The 1% is my Dad. STILL. He sees him every week and every week he has a full on meltdown as soon as my Dad looks at him or speaks to him.
Over the weekend we were at my brother’s house telling him about how terrified Parker is of my Dad and he decided to test the theory and do his famous Dad impression. Deep mumbling voice. Seriously, my Dad sounds like a late night radio host. The kind that could lull you into sleep. Or the Wizard from the Wizard of Oz when he’s hiding behind the curtain. He might sound sort of scary and intimidating, but once the curtain opens you realize he is the most harmless person of the face of the earth. That’s how my Dad is.
Not even 3 seconds into the impression Parker’s lip started to curl, the face got red, and he instantly went hypersonic. Mouth wide open, no noise coming out. That’s how upset he got. My brother always finds things like that hilarious and continued to do it.. luckily Parker got used to it after a little while and really only gave my brother the look of death instead of freaking out.
So it wasn’t the mustache! It’s the voice that sends Parker over the edge. He loves the ladies so much because unless you encounter one who has smoked 3 packs a day for 30 years they’ll never sound ANYTHING like my Dad.
And my Dad can’t do a high lady-like voice. I don’t think it’s physically possible.
Even today Parker lost it when my Dad came over. Not at first.. he checked him out for a while, unsure whether or not to scream- but once he heard that voice it was game over. Parker didn’t warm up to him until about an hour and a half into his visit after his tummy was full of solids.
Poor Dad. He feels so sad about it. He likes to say things like Parker is at the bottom of his list of favorite grandchildren because he’s so scared of him.. but I don’t think that’s really fair. Someday Parker will get over it and love his Grandaddy as much as Holden (Holden full on tackles him when he walks in the door)- then again, I don’t remember Holden EVER being terrified of my Dad. It was everyone else.
I've never had a near death experience, but I DID find 2 spiders in my house this morning, and that's pretty much the same thing.
If you like to be constantly criticized over your peanut butter to jelly ratio on sandwiches, being a parent is definitely for you.
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