Another hair brained conspiracy theory

Trust me, I could go on for probably a week straight with all the crazy correlations I come up with in my head. Lucky for you all, i’ll spare you from every weird thing I think about on a daily basis (having no adult interaction leaves me a lot of time to come up with the odd, the strange, and the out there).

There is one that I can’t get out of my head lately. You might understand why once I explain.

You may or may not know this about me, depending on how long you’ve been reading this blog- but I am a pooper. And what I mean by that is I poop more than the average person. I have no shame in it. It’s not exactly my fault that my stomach feels the need to empty itself more frequently than others’.
It started early in my highschool career. Talk about embarrassing. Having to run off in first period to unload or it felt as though i’d do it on myself. I always called it ‘morning sickness’, without the baby brewing inside.

As much as this sucked, and caused a lot of awkward moments even into adulthood (seriously, EVERY morning.. well.. until now, since I don’t have to wake up at 6am anymore)- I attribute my weight to it.
I understand this may make NO logical sense, it might not be true in the slightest.. but hear me out.

I figure- the more someone poops, the less their stomach processes- the less it keeps to turn into fat. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know anything really about how the stomach takes and processes and keeps calories and all that mess- this is just my weird brain at work, so bear with me for a bit longer.
I pooped SO much that regardless of how crappy I ate, I never gained weight. Even into my 20’s, I was tiny. Of course, having kids changes your metabolism so it was a little harder after Holden- but even with working out I ended up being skinnier than I was before (minus the wide hips).

Here’s where Parker comes into the picture. With his medication, his eating has gotten back to normal. It’s not GREAT, but it’s in the lower end of the ‘normal’ spectrum. He doesn’t vomit up solids like a volcano anymore.. his formula for the most part stays down. So the focus turned to his weight since he’s been all over the place as far as that goes.
A reader of the blog, old play room member, and VERY nice person took it upon herself to offer to us a very accurate baby scale to borrow since none of our doctors seem to give a shit about Parker’s weight like we do (even though we’re constantly told he doesn’t weigh enough).

Of course I took her up on the offer, and yesterday we received the scale in the mail. I crossed my fingers, got Parker undressed- and stuck him on it. I was shocked at the weight. 17lbs8oz. BARELY over what he was a month ago.
Even with the non-puking, the increased solids.. the average eating- the kid just isn’t gaining weight like he should. I was baffled, and very sad.

After panicking a bit, and calling his GI doctor (who still hasn’t called us back and it’s been almost 2 days now).. I started swirling thoughts around in my head.
The medication Parker is on for delayed gastric emptying makes him fart and poop more than he EVER did in the past.
So MAYBE, just like I said about me, all the pooping is keeping him from gaining weight because his stomach just processes food too fast for it to be absorbed. That would be better than the other options, like malabsorption or yet ANOTHER problem that has yet to be uncovered.

Yesterday and today, he only pooped maybe two times instead of 3+, so when my obsessive self put him on the scale today- he’d gained a half an ounce since yesterday. I think that’s pretty good. Gaining a half an ounce per day would mean in the next month he’d gain 15 ounces which is almost a pound. That’s more than most 8 months old gain from what I understand.

I’m still waiting on the doctor to make the final call.. if he EVER calls. My gut tells me his weight is just not what it should be, and the lack of weight gain is concerning. We’ll just have to see if the doctor agrees or thinks it’s fine. I’ll have to go with whatever he says because at this point, Parker is so abnormal I can’t compare him with other babies who haven’t been sick and don’t have DGE. It wouldn’t be a fair comparison.
Hopefully the lack of doo-doo will mean more weight gain. We’ll just have to see. MORE WAITING! HOORAY!!!!

Posted on June 9, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
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