Do I look forward to Mother’s Day? Eh. To be honest, not really.
My mom isn’t here anymore so I don’t have anyone to buy gifts for or write a card, and the sappy Mother’s Day commercials depress me. They’d probably depress me more if I didn’t have kids though. For me it’s more of a childrens appreciation type day. They aren’t old enough to fully understand the meaning of the ‘holiday.’
So really all I can hope for is that they’re relatively well behaved so maybe for once I can have a peaceful couple of hours.
Oh, you’re wondering about my husband? Since I birthed his children and all and ruined my body and and all of that fabulous stuff? You’re wondering if he bought me something? Even if just to label it from the boys?
I have one of the worst gift giving, card writing, anniversary remembering husbands in the world. And it’s not like I genuinely care about getting gifts. I don’t like flowers, at all. I think jewelery is a big fat waste of money- but something to sincerely say “Hey, thanks for blowing out your vagina to birth my spawn” would sort of be nice.
I didn’t expect him to get me anything.. but bright and early this morning after he attempted to feed Parker his first bottle- I hear the music that plays on the toy bar hanging from Parker’s car seat going off. This stirs me..
Then I hear the front door close. Then I knew. He waited until the last second to go out and try to scrounge up something, probably from Walgreens, for me for Mother’s Day. Or maybe to pick up breakfast so I wouldn’t have to cook it.
Came back pretty much empty handed other than a poopy unpersonal card and a fridge magnet with a picture of the boys that says “I love my mommy.” Where’s the candy??
Anyways- better than nothing. And he did clean the entire house by himself and cooked breakfast. I HATE cleaning so that gave him definite brownie points.
The rest of the day sort of sucked. Holden decided to be a mega-brat and Parker refused just about every bottle and all solids.
At one point in the day I went outside and sat on the front porch. Was just watching the cars drive by and other random crap.. and then I happened to look up at the sky. Totally clear sky except ONE cloud- in the perfect shape of a heart. At that moment I thought “Thanks mom”
Just felt like she was watching. I scrambled to get my phone to take a picture of it.. only to realize my phone was inside. Considered running in to get it, but by the time all of that ran through my head the cloud had already dissipated. Weird. Don’t think i’ll ever forget that though.
We called my favorite restaurant (the one that fucked me over twice by deciding to close early or not open at all on my birthday and the day after) to make reservations and they informed us they would be slammed and couldn’t give us a reservation until 7:30. Very late when you have two kids who get in the shower at 8 and go to bed at 9. We took the reservation anyways and decided to show up early just in case they happened to have an open table sooner, OR, what usually happens- they’re so damn slammed that a 7:30 reservation turns into not being seated until 8 or later.
Only we get there.. and there’s hardly anyone there. Seven open tables. We peek at the reservation sheet and there are only 4 names- one of them being ours. What in the hell was the chick on the phone even talking about? Glad we went early, we got seated immediately. ‘Slammed’ my ass.
Surprisingly, both boys were incredibly well behaved. Holden even repeatedly asked for “more sour salad!” (salad had red wine vinegar dressing). What 2 year old eats salad? Strange child. Parker sat in his highchair after deciding that his car seat was far too boring and squealed in delight and slammed his Sophie on the table the whole meal.
That one annoyingly loud table usually with a large woman cackling or full of ‘loud talkers’ or a child throwing a tantrum the entire time that distracts the entire restaurant? Probably was us. Parker was LOUD. I caught a lot of people staring over at our table.. but they were all smiling. No one can resist a squealing happy baby. Holden even tried to make random conversation with the waiter.. who was very confused, but on top of the drink and garlic knot refills like no waiter I have ever seen.
I guess when you add it all up it comes out to a win. Still would have liked a reeses cup.
You wouldn't sniff a stranger's butt to see who pooped their pants.... so you probably shouldn't do these other parental things to strangers, either. holdinholden.com/2017/12/weir…
Weird Things you do for your kids but not Strangers goo.gl/fb/oVuwvG
Tis the season! pic.twitter.com/5VgMLnt22E
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.