Strange Friday in our household. Very strange. So many things happening, so many things different than a typical Friday that no one quite knew what to make of it.
Not typical: Thomas didn’t have to work today. I’d have liked it if he did, because that would mean he’d have gotten PAID for it.. bt his company is full of assholes and is forcing everyone to take furlough days even when … gah I won’t even get into it. It’s just unfair. Let’s leave it at that.
So he was home, which throws off our regularly scheduled routine. Sure, some days may be a tad different from others but the one constant is that mommy is home, and just mommy. Daddy being home totally throws things off.
A few months ago, Thomas being home would be a Godsend. I’d say something along the lines of: “Hey you’re home? That means YOU get to feed Parker all of his bottles!” and then i’d laugh maniacally to myself and sit on my ass and do nothing because I never get to sit on my ass and do nothing. These days? No way. I know better. Throwing him off his regularly scheduled programming is just ASKING for trouble. And we don’t want trouble. We have enough issues on a normal day without adding more confusion into the mix.
If Parker eats, I don’t care if I have to feed him EVERYTHING. Time is an easy sacrifice to make, especially when Thomas is home to keep Holden company.
Our other main priority was to call the GI and see what the hell he wanted to do. Being that my main responsibility is the kids, and one in particular loves to pass out ON me and nowhere else. Not to mention the fact that I loathe talking on the phone to people I don’t know, especially doctors, because I get emotional WAY too fast and i’d probably snap at someone. That wouldn’t help the situation.
So who was to make the call? Thomas.
I wrote him a list of the issues still occurring, figuring he could fill in the blanks since he knows exactly what goes on every minute of every day.. since I tell him EVERYTHING..
Does he do that? No. He just reads off the list as if Parker hasn’t improved one single bit… which is not true in the slightest. So of course, after 2 return phone calls from 2 different nurses, the GI decides he wants to do an endoscopy- next week.
I’d have been maybe slightly ok with that had Thomas disclosed the actual truth. But he didn’t. I swear, he acts like he doesn’t know a DAMN thing about Parker at all. It blows my mind how clueless he acts.. when he isn’t at all! He knows ALL of Parker’s issues.. somehow he just can’t relay them to anyone but me. And then it screws everything up.
So I got pissed, naturally. And I made him call the GI back and set them straight with the 100% truth and not just the list I wrote of things that might possibly still be wrong. He’s having issues with solids, he’s still refusing morning bottles, only eating 25 oz a day.
I never meant for that to be read off word for word as the be all end all. I meant for it to be filled in, by Thomas, who is very informed usually. Yes he still refuses the morning bottle, that does concern me- he does have issues with solids but not ALWAYS, he eats 25 oz a day.. but how the hell do I know what’s normal? That could be normal. I don’t know what normal is. My kid’s been sick for 5 months. it was more of a question than a statement. I was hoping to be told if 25oz on average is ok.. but we didn’t get that.
Instead we got “Well just call us when you want to schedule an endoscopy”
What?? That’s not MY call! I am not a doctor! That should not be my decision! YOU are the doctor, you should tell me what is normal and what is ok and decide from there what to do. It shouldn’t be on me when I have no scale or knowledge of what’s normal for a typical 8 month old baby. Sure, I had Holden, but he was a fatty with NO issues other than reflux.. which never effected his appetite.
I’m just angry. I hate when doctors just throw their hands up and say “hey, it’s on you now”
No, it’s not on me. You are supposed to be looking out for his best interest WITH me.
So what to do now? Do you have an 8 month old? Is 25 ounces enough? Is his refusing certain solids on random days normal? Is he gaining enough weight?
We even tried to weigh him 3 times today, and each time we got a different weight. 15 lbs the first time, which would mean a 2 lb weight loss from when he was SIX months old. Not good. The second time? 20 lbs. Third time? 19 lbs. Both of those would be acceptable, but who knows if those are right. Our scale blows. It’s always off from the weight I get at the OBGYN (which is always disappointing because I always weigh MORE than our home scale says).
His solids? We were concerned about until we realized that the ones he seems to refuse are from a certain brand: Beechnut. He’ll inhale ANYTHING from Earth’s Best Organic, but won’t eat a damn thing from Beechnut. Could it just be the brand? Is that even possible? Or are we making a strange correlation? The Beechnut does seem to be a thick PASTE like substance while Earth’s Best and Gerber are more liquidy. Maybe that’s the problem. Who the hell knows.
I know I should trust my instinct, but it’s all over the place at this point. I DO think his problem is Delayed Gastric Emptying. The medication IS helping.. i’m just not 100% that it’s helping ENOUGH, and without a doctor telling me what the hell is normal, i’ll never know if i’m right or not and no doctor EVER answers me on that subject. It’s all BS vagueness.
If anything, they should be bringing him in for weight checks.. just to make sure he isn’t losing MORE weight- but once again, doctor #10 doesn’t seem to give a shit more than any other doctor.. even though he lost weight at his last appointment.
So now what? Do we just schedule an endoscopy that could be pointless? Or do we wait when he actually NEEDS an endoscopy? Why can’t the doctor just make that damn decision.
DAMN I hate doctors!!! ALL OF THEM! I HATE THEM!
For now, to us, the option is to wait it out another week and see if he reverts back to eating nothing. He’s not doing GREAT right now, but he’s doing ok. And ok is better than bad. If he were still doing bad, the endoscopy would clearly be the answer.. but he’s shown a definite improvement. And that’s something. Something is better than nothing. I just hope it’s the final answer. I hope we don’t have to take more drastic measures.. not that i’ll know if that’s necessary since the morons in the medical community won’t tell me what’s what.
So you tell me- Is it possible that he just hate’s a certain brand of solids? Is 25oz give or take enough? I really don’t know anymore.
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