No matter how I look at it, I just don’t envy anyone who doesn’t have another adult to carry some of the burden of having young children.
Sure, the quiet time is nice. And not quite children time (that doesn’t really exist), but quiet time from a condescending douche of a man. Let’s face it, they can all be big fat smelly douches every now and then. Probably more often than we’d all like. Not having someone to argue with is pretty nice.. but bearing the brunt of tasks that would be easy if that person were around? Not fun at all.
Thomas is seriously in the dog house tonight. Mr. “I refuse to ever work late. I like to spend time with my family”.. didn’t show up at 6pm like he usually does on a work day. I waited, Parker asleep in my arms, thinking maybe the traffic was bad. Traffic is usually bad, but sometimes it’s really bad.
More time passes and he still isn’t home.. so I shoot him a text (as to not wake Parker) and ask where the hell he is.
Little side note: I had promised Holden a special treat since he’s been so well behaved and not pissed his bed in such a long time and he chose to go to Walgreens (figures) and pick out a new coloring book. I told him we’d have to wait for Daddy to come home in order to go.. if I can avoid taking both kids out by myself, I avoid it.
He writes back something about an emergency. What??
No, not a real emergency, I come to find out- a work emergency. He hasn’t even left yet and it’s coming up on 6:15pm.
Instantly my blood is boiling. BOILING. It’s not just that he’s late, but that he didn’t even bother to TELL me he hadn’t left work yet until over an HOUR after when he usually leaves- and might not have even said a damn word had I not texted him first. Inconsiderate assholish nature right there. Especially considering the kids and their tight night time routine.
Not only has he not left, he has no idea when he’s going to leave.. and is not even slightly apologetic.
If my blood were in a pot on the stove it would be boiling over the sides in a desperate attempt to burn the house down.
I panic. I made promises to Holden, that I knew if didn’t get followed through with he’d have a complete melt down and probably never trust me again. I had to get them to Walgreens.. and then be back around 6:30 to feed Parker solids…
Not to mention I already had butter on the counter softening to make dessert, that would be wasted if I didn’t use it (and I am not a food waster).. PLUS on top of that, had to make dinner for Holden and I since clearly Thomas was not going to be home any time soon and didn’t care to tell me how long he was going to be- AND feed Parker another bottle. All by myself. Fabulous. Just what I wanted to do after dealing with the kids ALL day.
No blood left. Black crusty pile of char on the stove.
I wake Parker up and quickly get him strapped into his carseat. He was not pleased. Get Holden’s shoes on and rush to Walgreens. Grab a Cars coloring book and a Toy Story coloring book (since there was a deal if you bought two) and get out. In record time.
We get home right after 6:30. Get Parker OUT of his carseat and into his highchair and wheel him into the kitchen so I can attempt to feed him green beans while making dessert. Not an easy task, since Parker insists on full attention and toys while he eats. I end up showering myself in flour and cursing Thomas.
I have no idea when I finished the green bean/cookie dough catastrophe but I went right into reheating left overs for Holden and I (seriously, thank God for left overs or I might have snapped) while Parker whined.. and whined.. and whined to get out of his highchair.
Got it all plated, cookies in the oven, and got everyone into the living room, sat Holden down so he could start eating.. inhaled my dinner and then had to get Parker started on his bottle. Wasn’t surprised that he didn’t really want it.
Finished that up and Holden was finishing up his dinner at the same time. Got Parker slightly settled, Holden cleaned up.. and then we waited.
It’s now 8pm. They should both be in the shower with me.. but I know there’s no way that can happen without some kind of catastrophe. So we wait..
Thomas finally strolls in the door at 10 after and still I can not take a break because instantly I have to get the boys into the shower.
I am angry and exhausted. 12 full hours of whiny baby and stubborn toddler by myself. Honestly I do not know how single moms and military moms who have a husband deployed do it. I would lose my freaking mind.
Thomas is in the friggin’ dog house. He is on modified silent treatment. Mature, I know.. don’t care!
He has some serious ass kissing to do before I can not be super pissed off at him anymore.
Winning Advice from an 8-year old goo.gl/fb/MmhfYU
Y'know what's awesome? I don't even have to waste time trying new recipes because my kids will tell me they hate it before I start cooking.
@Julieannefiu I still sing WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE. I think they're lying about the "real" lyrics
I sang SO many embarrassingly wrong song lyrics with such confidence. pic.twitter.com/Ww5TaAxY3r
@AndreaPerez0217 Not that I'm biased, but I highly recommend ;) Hope you enjoy!
Parenthood: you think it's gonna be all hugs & booboo kisses, but it's really cooking food everyone hates & scraping boogers off of walls.