The year 2010 has not been kind to my family thus far. I am definitely not a fan. If I could start the entire year over again.. I probably would. And there would be a hell of a lot of things i’d do differently, and a LOT of people i’d have dropkicked before BS got to an all time high.
This week as a whole? Easily one of the worst of this super shitty new year. The only word to sum up the week that I can think of? FAIL! Or maybe HELL. Either one of those might works.
Let’s recap, shall we?
There’s the 8th week of vagina bleeding, the continuing increasingly bad hunger strike, Holden missing the potty and getting piss all over himself and the floor no matter how many times I tell him to “PUSH YOUR PECKER DOWN”, Parker’s thrush returning for a third time plus a black bacterial infection to boot, the weather changing from hot to cold every other day making my sinuses go absolutely insane so that I look like i’m having a fit because I scratch an eye, and then the other, and then a nose, and then try to scratch my throat and then sneeze three times in a row. I must look like a crazy person. The fact that no matter HOW many times we try to call the pulmonologist to fix the damn WRONG prescription she wrote- she never calls us back.. and then the pharmacy gets it all fucked up and makes an entire OTHER bottle of prilosec (which goes bad in 30 days mind you) and then called and made a huge deal about it although it isn’t our fault- and STILL, the Rx is wrong.
Do I need to continue on my list of suckage? I think you all get the point by now.
Really though, there is ONE thing that I can not just let go, being that it is Friday night and I can finally put the horrid week behind me and relax- somewhat.
No no, this can not be let go.. because I have been DUPED.
What am I talking about? DEPO of course! Ohhh depo.. at my wits end with you. And it’s NOT just the ridiculously long amount of time i’ve been leaking BLOOD. That’s frustrating, yes- but not the worst part.
See, i’d been warned by my doctor that there are rumors swirling about that depo will make you fat. She claimed it was only because it would “increase your appetite” and even that was a tiny possibility. I’ve had friends who have taken depo. All rail thin.
Before depo, I had a steady weight loss and measurement decrease in my waist and thighs. All good things. I watched what I ate, drank lots of water, etc etc. NONE of this changed with depo.. yet somehow- while my hips are getting smaller (since they got SO damn big while I was pregnant) somehow, even with exercising 5 days a week.. the muscles i’ve worked so hard to create are dissipating. How is that even possible? DEPO. It’s the only logical answer. Especially after talking to a few friends once I mentioned what was going on and they said the same thing happened to them. Where were those friends BEFORE I got stuck in the arm?
To diet so strictly as I do, and to exercise religiously 5 days a week.. only to see FLAB forming instead of muscle? Somethin’ ain’t right.
Unfortunately, before I made the correlation today.. I got the damn shot in the arm that will last at least another 3 months. So that means 3 more months of working HARD to get fit, only to look even nastier and more bloated (how can you NOT be bloated when you’ve been on your period for over 2 months?). And of course, this had to happen during bikini season. Not that anyone would ever catch me dawning a bikini- but summer time is the time of unforgiving fabrics and clothing styles. And here i’ll be.. trying to hide my lumpy jiggly depo provided belly.
Needless to say, I will NOT be getting the third depo shot. No way in hell. I don’t know what i’ll do for sure yet- but it will NOT be depo. Nor will it be shoving a ring up my snatch, getting an implant in my arm, or getting a weird umbrella shaped piece of plastic forced through my cervix. I’ll suck it up and take a damn pill every day or nothing. Gotta HAVE sex to get pregnant, so currently I have nothing to be worried about anyways.
Person on tv: Age is just a number! 10yo: Yeah, a number that pulls you closer to death.
Party animal over here pic.twitter.com/OVpKPuu4Yc
Proving to my kids that they ARE Friends goo.gl/fb/QbSSNp
Writing my next book Me: My period inspired a whole new chapter! Husband: Your lack of period inspired a whole book... Me: pic.twitter.com/fpNHwnYeAF
The card my kid made me at school. I truly don't know why I expected anything different 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/T7nai0ycqS
Valentine's Day before 4pm and I'm already putting on pajamas because my uterus is bloated to the size of a Buick and erupting like Mount Vesuvius so I guess you could say I'm feeling PRETTY romantic.