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The sock gnome has branched out

Everyone’s had it happen to them more times than can be counted on just one hand.
You put your socks into the dryer, only to remove them and suspiciously find one missing. Usually the sock for the left foot (and don’t tell me a sock doesn’t feel more comfortable on one foot rather than the other. There ARE right socks and left socks!). Typically a white one.

It happens every so often until you find yourself with all right footed socks and you have to go waste money on a new pack and toss out all the sad pair-less ones, because you can’t just buy a pack of left socks and call it a day.

Where the hell do all these socks go? You never end up finding them balled up behind the washer, torn into shreds in the lint trap..
Nowhere to be found.

It’s that damn thieving little sock gnome.

Only in our house, socks don’t satisfy him. Since Thomas practically has no matching socks anyways, and no matter how much I tell him to go buy new ones he never does – and then bitches about washing whites.. meaning he expects me to do it instead of taking 3 minutes and just doing it himself- and I don’t even WEAR socks. You read that right, I don’t wear them. I hate socks. I’m a flats or flip flops kind of girl.

The sock gnome dwelling in the walls of our living room is not pleased by this and has taken to stealing our very valuable burp cloths.
They may not SEEM important, but for a baby that likes to randomly upchuck all over the house at random times throughout the day.. they are lifesavers.

We used to have a plethora of them stocked up.. now, suddenly.. gone. This is bad news for clothing all around. Where normally i’d have a super absorbant puke rag to catch these random spews, now i’m left to catch them with.. well.. myself. Sometimes the couch. Sometimes the floor. And one time all over Holden. Stinky, warm disgusting baby puke.

Give me back my puke rags, stingy sock gnome! I will buy you your very own bag of brand new white socks that you can do with… whatever it is you do with them.
Just return the damn puke rags before I stop washing ALL socks!


Posted on April 13, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 0 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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