When I think about the fact that Parker will be 7 months old tomorrow I almost have to smack myself to believe it. Over half way to a year old. Even crazier when you think about it that way. In the next month or so he’ll be crawling and pulling up (still desperately close), then walking.. then first birthday (if they happen to go in that order. For Holden it was the other way around).
I hate to think that the place we’ve spent the second most time at other than our own home for the past 4 of those 7 months is at the damn doctor’s office or the hospital.. or in an exam room.
The fluorescent lighting almost gives me an instant migraine at this point. Harsh and unforgiving.
I’ve grown to know all exam rooms like the back of my hand. They aren’t really any different from one another. It’s not like the OBGYN, where they have colorful walls and lighted pictures on the ceiling so you can ‘think of a happy place’ while a cold metal object digs around in your lady parts. Every one i’ve ever been to has been stark white walls. Maybe a weird mural of a whale or something equally as creepy.. but always white and rather uninviting. MAYBE they’ll have books for your older child to read, but probably not.
The one thing that always changes? How they measure your baby. If you’ve gone to as many doctors as we have, in as short a period of time as we have- you begin to notice that your baby might as well be a damn shape shifter with the different measurements they get every time. Bigger smaller fatter skinnier, never know what you’re gonna get.
For instance, two weeks before Parker’s 6 month appointment we went to the pulmonologist. There he measured 26.5 inches or something like that. Seemed way off to me. Two weeks later at the pediatrician- 28 inches. I can see maybe being a half an inch off, but inch & a half (tongue twister)? That takes skill right there.
Another 2 weeks go by and we make our trip to the GI (yesterday) – 26.5 again. I can tell by Parker’s pants that he has definitely grown, no way is he the same height as he was a month ago. Today at the pulmonologist? 27.5.
What height IS this kid? I could try to measure him myself, but that’s a crapshoot too. The kid is a wiggler.
Also, his weight yesterday was 16lbs8oz, less than he weighed at his 6 month check up. Today? 17lbs. Did he gain a half a pound in a day? Yeah right.
At this rate we’ll never really know what his real size is. I’ll just go by how bad my arms ache at the end of the day from holding his clingy ass all the time.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times