Static with a side of Normal, please.

The one thing I hate the most about Parker being “sick”.. other than him being “sick” and having no answers.. is the fact that there is NO guarantee that one day will be anything like the next.

You may think because of a semi-decent day with a smaller amount of force feeding (there’s never NO force feeding.. ugh), that- HEY, maybe he’s finally getting better???
And then the next day comes.. and he’s right back to having to be force fed portions of every single bottle he eats. Back to having to eat every 2 hours.

I mean, seriously y’all, this has been going on for FAR too long. He got sick in the beginning of January.. not diagnosed with RSV until 3 weeks later, and then was VERY sick for about 2 weeks- and now this shit has lingered for over 3 more weeks after the congestion and coughing stopped.
Has he improved since the coughing and congestion stopped? Oh yeah, for sure. We aren’t forcing every ounce he gets into him anymore, which only added up to about 10 ounces total per day. Has he improved since he improved? No. I keep track of EVERY bottle. When it is, how much total it is, how much of that bottle has to be force fed. Every minute detail gets written down so I can make sure he’s at least getting 25 ounces liquid per day, and to see if there’s any steady improvement in the amount he’s force fed, and the amount he consumes.
There never is. Literally, it’s always the same or worse than the day before. His morning bottle, he’ll never eat more than 3.25 ounces. Whether or not any of that will have to be force fed is a mystery. It’s never the same from day to day. I feed him 2 hours later because of how small the first bottle is.. sometimes he eats 3.5 ounces, and sometimes he eats over 5. Sometimes it has to be force fed, sometimes it doesn’t. And that continues for the rest of the day. I NEVER know what to expect, and that totally stresses me out.

The bottles where I fill them up to 5.5, he either bottoms out and would have eaten more- which I totally kick myself in the ass for because of COURSE I want him to take as much as he can.. or he won’t eat ANY of it and it all goes to waste. Both of which are incredibly frustrating and lead to intense stress before a feeding because you SO want him to eat.. and worry he won’t, which means more force feeding, which is NOT fun. And that stress makes you stressed that you’ll stress HIM out.

All I really want is for him to get back to how he used to be.. even though he’s older, even if he ate as much as he did at 3 months i’d be happier than I am now. 5.25 ounces every 3-3.5 hours. No struggling, nothing. Easy, stress free feedings. I feel like getting down on my knees and doing 50 Hail Mary’s and I get anywhere NEAR 5 ounces in him without force these days.
All I really want is for him to be a HEALTHY weight for his age again. He went from the 75th percentile to the 5th.. and now who KNOWS where he is. I’ll find that out Wednesday. My goal was to get him up to 16 pounds, which would still only be the 25th percentile for his age.. and i’m not sure if I even got him there.

With teething at threat level RED, he seems to just want to chew on the bottle nipple instead of suck.. which is making feedings even MORE difficult- as if we needed that.
I know I said if the force feeding continued for another week that i’d go straight to a GI specialist.. but at this point, honestly I think it would be another wasteful money pit. Another dead end with no answers and an assload of time wasted. I don’t want or need that. He doesn’t need more testing done to only come up with no answers to “fix” him.

So now.. I guess we wait. For the ridiculous Cystic Fibrosis testing which will come back negative (i’m 100% positive of that now).. only to THEN be sent to a GI to get negative results too. UGH.
Haven’t we all been through enough? Isn’t it about time for this to end?
I honestly think at this point that i’ll be force feeding him until he’s done with bottles completely. I know that’s a pessimistic thing to say- but how can I NOT think that way when it’s been going on for so long for no apparent reason? I HOPE that isn’t the case.. but i’m done waking up in the morning thinking that maybe, just MAYBE this will be the day he’s normal again. That hasn’t happened yet, not even close. He’s so far behind in feeding amounts it’s unreal.. at least according to the internet.

Speaking of which, totally pisses me off. The websites I read say that a baby should consume 2.5 ounces per pound of body weight. SAY WHAT?! That is an ABSURD amount! And we all wonder why America is obese. We blame McDonalds, but seriously, it’s overfeeding our children because we’re told they need way more than they actually do.
By those parameters, Parker should be eating 32 ounces a day.. which in a 5 bottle day comes out to over 7 ounces a bottle. At EIGHT months old, Holden, who was probably around 26 pounds, was hardly eating 7 ounce bottles. And according to those parameters, he should have been eating 62 ounces or some ridiculous crap like that. SIXTY TWO! That would make ANY baby’s stomach EXPLODE. Totally absurd!!!

As much of a wealth as the internet holds on information.. seriously, not all of it should be trusted. Especially when it comes to babies. Unless you want their stomachs to explode.
So I really have NO idea how much Parker SHOULD be eating to be “healthy.” I can only go by what I think he should be eating at this point. And i’m so torn on that, that i’m even MORE stressed out.

Seriously, TGIF. I think I would explode if it were only Thursday.

Posted on March 5, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 1 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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1 Comment

  • I still think you should consider a GI… after years of issues with my son, finally the GI is getting somewhere. Hugs to ya. ~ CriscoNinja