The one thing I miss about working around other adults (other than the extra money) is overhearing random and hilarious conversations. Arguments with spouses and family members.. totally awkward and inappropriate snippets that you go home at night and still giggle about. I guess, in a way, you could say I miss the drama. Not with me, but between other people.
In place of that, now I overhear random and hilarious things come out of Holden’s mouth. Either when he’s talking to his toys, or weird things he says to me out of nowhere.
My own little version of that old Bill Cosby show “Kids say the Darnedest Things”
I only wish i’d written them down back when he started talking coherently, because they are hilarious to look back at.
In the past week I finally got off my lazy ass and started writing down funny little snippets. Not just for myself, but maybe a little bit because it will be awesome to embarrass Holden with when he gets older.
The first was when he was lying on the floor playing with his cars while I was making breakfast. He had two cars, face to face (yes, his cars have faces)- and I hear “I don’t like you!”.. and then a pause, and then “I don’t like you too!”
Well then, apparently those cars are no longer friends. I wonder if they’re back on speaking terms?
Next was about two hours later while I was exercising. He looks over at me, out of nowhere, and exclaims: “My peeeeeeee….nis!”
Puzzled, I ask “your penis? What about your penis?”
“It’s right there!! I found my penis!”
I cracked up for an hour after that one.
Holden says funny things all day every day- never a dull moment with him.. but most I don’t write down. Only the best of the best.
So the next two “best of Holden” moments didn’t come again until today.
We had to go to BJs today, which is in the next city over.. so before we went we needed a few small things (which you can’t pick up at a “big box” store) so we stopped by the Wal-Mart there.. which i’ve never been to, and will probably never go back to again. Main reason being their horrible and ridiculous and poorly thought out parking lot. It’s not technically a one way parking lot, but if you drive one way- you can’t park in half of the spaces because of how they’re slanted.. which means you’re searching for one you can actually pull into for a good 30 minutes. Frustrated, we ended up parking pretty far away from the entrance in not so lovely weather conditions.
When we finally got close to the entrance after walking for what felt like forever (and me carrying Parker in his unusually heavy carseat), Holden says to Thomas: “I wish we’d gotten a better parking space!”
Read my mind. The first thing I thought was, “did he really just say that??”
Guess he didn’t appreciate crappy ghetto Walmart and it’s stupid parking lot either.
Once we got to BJs, I saw that the new restaurant next door (a Nascar themed restaurant) had life sized race cars out front. I tried to point them out to him but he either couldn’t see them or wasn’t understanding what I was saying. Not sure which.
So when we left, we drove right by them and I pointed them out again, “Look Holden, race cars!! Lightning Mcqueen’s friends!”
He perked up immediately, “Race cars!! I want to talk to them!!!”
He has seen the movie “Cars” far too many times, clearly.
Who knows what the next months will bring as far as Holden’s hilarious moments go. I’m excited for it. Those weird little sentences and conversations can brighten even the worst of days.
Dear people writing articles on ways to get siblings to get along, I'll save you the time. The answer is "Don't let them play together"
Please stop Complimenting my kids’ “Good” Behavior goo.gl/fb/rwfojS
Hard pass from me pic.twitter.com/VayvW1eopK
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.
Parenthood is when you start counting the minutes to bed time before 11am.