Drama gives me heartburn

Will she? Won’t she? That’s been the question of the day. Probably the most “anticipated” blog in my blog’s history, and not for the right reasons- that’s for sure.

And you may be wondering why (although I doubt it).

Ahhh, to wake up this morning, get breakfast out of the way, get Parker down for a nap and to log onto Facebook in the small amount of time I had in between only to find that a rabid pack of hyenas had completely demolished it with hateful diatribe, lies, and ridiculousness? Definitely what I wanted to see! YAY FOR USELESS DRAMA!!!
My first reaction, always, is just to roll my eyes, call these people idiots, and remove them. I do not need or want drama. I do not need to defend myself to ANYONE. I, as well as 9 doctors and a specialist, plus other mothers who have actually BEEN where I am, agree with what I have done to get food into Parker, and only occasionally am still doing.

So I did, I deleted them, and then I came across the email. The email of the day! Loaded with insults, insinuations, assumptions (and you know what they say about assuming).. and the best part- a threat!!! Not even a good threat, but a threat that made me smile.
It said something along the lines of:
“And you’d better not write a blog about me tonight or i’ll email EVERY ONE OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS to defend myself!!”
I literally LOLed. That sounds like a challenge!!!
OH PLEASE!! PLEEAAAAAAAAASE write to all my facebook friends and ‘defend yourself’, I would literally PAY to see their responses. It would make for an amazingly hilarious blog!

But don’t feel all special or anything, because this blog isn’t just about you- it’s about the entire pack of hyenas that spammed my blog with lies and bitchery today.
Oh, and you- I giggle that you think last night’s blog was about you.. as if the entire world revolves around you and what you say. Guess what?? it wasn’t! Nope, not even slightly!

I’m not scared of any of you! I do not doubt myself for one single second, and if you’d actually BEEN where I am.. I think you’d have done the same thing.
Don’t believe me? Allow me to QUOTE people who have actually gone through what i’ve gone through and am still going through (and don’t worry, I won’t use names. No one deserves to be FLAMED for caring for a sick child like I have been)

#1: “I hope by some miracle he wakes up some day and just starts eating for you. I think about him every day. You have gorgeous kids, you’re a great mom, and don’t let internet drama get you down. I can’t say I have any clue what it’s like to force feed and I have no clue if I’d be able to do it, but it’s not my place to judge or pretend I know best. I just wanted to let you know I support you as a mom and sometimes doctors forget that moms tend to know more than we’re given credit. I finally feel like the doctors here are at least listening to us so hopefully you’ll find a doctor that will listen.”

“I’ve been thinking about you and Parker a lot this month. We’ve been crazy busy with therapy, but I read your blogpost. I also left an encouraging comment for you on the post, but it got denied I think. 🙁 Big kudos to you for sticking with it and ignoring those ignorant people. I STILL have to offer liquids and solids to my son or he won’t take them. First thing in the morning after sleeping for 12 hours you’d think he’d be thirsty/hungry – but NO. I get him to drink a measly 3 ounces of liquids and maybe 10 bites of “solids.” And it’s like that all day long. *sigh* I have been where you are and I’m still there and for people to say you’re breaking the bond with your child – they are SO freakin’ full of shit.”

And one more, just for good measure, though I could keep going
“Both of my kids have been incredibly sick this winter. We’ve seen H1N1, pneumonia, RSV, bronchiolitis and stomach flu within 4 months. _____ is on steroids twice a day and that continues until JUNE because now he all of the sudden has asthma. ___ is on $30 formula, Prilosec and is STILL spitting up all the time. I question every single day if that’s what is right for them, and I can’t imagine being ATTACKED by other mothers WHO AREN’T DOCTORS. I’m not in your position Jenny, but I can’t imagine that I’d do ANYTHING different. For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a great job.

Unless you’re miss money bags and can afford a BILLION different doctors opinions, really only telling you the same thing. Hey, I wish we could. We can’t. And I don’t care what you think you know about my financials or what I am or am not spending money on, you know nothing. Period.

Point blank: if you have NOT been in my situation, you have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to judge me. I don’t care what little article you read telling you force feeding is “bad”, it kept Parker alive. Yeah, that’s right, it sure did. If not that severe, it most DEFINITELY kept him from being in the hospital with a feeding tube. As a responsible parent, you really expected me to let it get that bad when I had control over how hydrated he stayed?
And you think i’m a BAD parent because of that? OH PLEASE! Get a LIFE. Spend more time on YOUR kids instead of on a child and a mother you have NEVER met, and know nothing about other than snippets you’ve read online.

Do you have a medical license? Have you been to med school? No? Then how in the living hell do you think you’re qualified at ALL to tell me what i’m doing “wrong” with my child? The doctors i’ve seen sure don’t think so. All NINE of them have given me pats on the back and told me I am doing the right thing, and to continue doing it until the CF test is done and we get an answer on that. Unless you’re a qualified doctor, you should NOT be telling people what to do or not to do with their children, I don’t give a flying FUCK what YOUR baby is eating. Don’t you realize that not all babies are the same? My kid is NOT your kid. I decide what is best, along with the doctors we have continually seen to get through this process, and none would EVER agree with the crap you’re spewing all over the internet. And one day, you’re going to end up seriously hurting a child who could benefit from force feeding when they are ill because of your unqualified advice.

Oh, and if you’re going to “report me to the authorities”- at least get your facts straight, because you’ve been twisting absolutely everything i’ve said into gigantic lies and farces. That’s the problem with idiots, they only read the things they can pick apart and twist into what THEY want it to say.. and then try to tear you apart on it instead of fully reading what you’ve said and realizing they’re wrong.
There’s nothing wrong with being wrong. While I don’t THINK Parker has Cystic Fibrosis, I am fully aware it is a possibility, even if only a small one.

So here are the facts, for those of you too lazy to actually READ my blog posts in the past and instead creating an alternate universe

1. Parker was diagnosed with RSV. On that day is when he started refusing bottles for weeks.
2. We were told by both the Children’s hospital doctors (three of them) AND 3 doctors at our old pediatrician’s office to force feed him to keep him hydrated, because he was eating absolutely nothing on his own.
3. After that, we were told, by the doctors, to set goals for the day in order to get his weight up.
4. Multiple doctors visit, different practices, specialists.. ALL told us to continue what we are doing, and eventually they believed he would get his appetite back
5. Finally, he seemed to be getting better, so we don’t force feed unless absolutely necessary. Which is only when he has a string of 3 days where he eats NOTHING on his own. You really think i’m just going to LET him not eat and get dehydrated?? THAT would be cause to report to CPS, not actually CARING enough to make sure he stays hydrated.
6. Never ONCE did I say he “screamed hard enough to get broken blood vessels”, you need glasses. I said he has broken blood vessels and NEVER screamed hard enough to get them.

Did anyone ever think to ask how often I force feed or why? Nope. All the morons just assumed I still do it every day, even when he’s eating just fine on his own because I “want him to be chubby like Holden”
one of the stupidest things i’ve ever heard. So.. me wanting him to gain the weight back that he LOST from RSV makes me a bad parent? It makes me have Munchhausen by Proxy? Are you THAT stupid?? Seriously?? Even though NINE doctors have looked at him and know something is wrong and just don’t know what?? Oh my bad, I just want him above the 5th percentile when he was in the 75th before getting sick, yes, I am a TERRIBLE parent!!!

Let me get this through your thick skulls- I do not force feed unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. I DO think it was life saving back when Parker would eat NOTHING, and still on the days where he decides food isn’t important.. but guess what? If he eats even THREE ounces I leave him alone, just feed him more often. When was the last tie I force fed?? DAYS ago. That doesn’t mean I won’t again, I ABSOLUTELY will if I feel it’s necessary, because he is MY child and I decide what is best, along with the doctors (who again, all NINE agree with me). YOU, who has no experience, have no right to tell me that I am “harming” my child. How do you even have the right to say things like that? What gives you the right or the authority?

So go ahead, “print this blog out” and show it to your doctor, or to CPS. I’d love to see them LAUGH IN YOUR FACE because they actually have serious cases of negligence to worry about, like babies being punched in the face, not fed at all, abandoned, shaken, rather than come to a loving house where the parents care enough to not let their child dehydrate to the point of hospitalization.
And if he’s eating just fine, why do I “complain” about him being sick? Oh, yeah, because he is. His breathing never went back to normal, he sleeps for 11 hours and wakes up and refuses to eat ANYTHING, and now he has a cough again. So yes, he IS sick, which ALL NINE DOCTORS can clearly see, and why they are making us have the CF test. There is very very clearly something wrong, whether it be the lingering effects of RSV, or soemthing else related (and I swear to all that is holy, if you say MILK ALLERGY one more time i’ll snap worse than i’m snapping now. You don’t think I ASKED the doctors? You don’t think I RESEARCHED it and had him tested? You’re an idiot. It’s not a stupid milk allergy).

Remove your head from your ass and see reality, get over your ridiculous unwarranted vendetta, and go and take care of your OWN children. Morons. Yes, I said it, you’re MORONS. And if you actually, somehow, make CPS believe I am somehow “unfit”, I will not hesitate to sue the living shit out of you for defamation. Don’t try me.

Wait until your child gets sick for half of their life, won’t eat, doesn’t breathe correctly.. and you take them to as many doctors as you can afford (and by the way, we have over $1500 in medical bills because of all the tests, and that’s NOT including the $500 we spent from our FSA and the money out of pocket already spent in under 3 months), and are still waiting on a test that will most likely come back negative.. and see what you do. You’d freak out, not feed your kid, and they’d end up with a feeding tube down their nose. WAY TO GO, AWESOME PARENT! YOU RULE!!! Sorry I can’t be that irresponsible because I LOVE my child and would do anything to avoid that.

So show this to your “authority”:
Is this REALLY the face of a child that is being “harmed” and has no bond with his mother??

Oh yes! Our bond is SO weak that he was laughing HYSTERICALLY while I was feeding him today, so much so that he couldn’t calm down enough to nap and it took 20 minutes to get him to sleep. OH NOES! TOTALLY BREAKING THE MOTHER SON BOND!!!! LOCK ME UP!!!

So suck it. SUCK IT!! and suck it hard.


p.s. Hilarious that you claim I “sit on facebook aaaaaaallll day” while you tend to your family, when you’re all the ones spamming facebook with my blog URL and writing me lengthy stupidity filled emails, and posting about me on your profiles CONSTANTLY because you’re that insecure while I was spending time playing with my little ones, dancing to music, and reading books. Way to go, you super supreme mamas!

p.p.s- PLEASE keep linking people to my blog! Oh yeeessss, I love it! It just makes me more money. Thanks, bitches!

p.p.p.s- I know you were all sitting around wasting your Friday night that you could be spending with your oh so special family, so I waited 2 hours after i’d normally post to post it. Have a good night, morons!

p.p.p.p.s- YAY namecalling! I can be just as low and pathetic as you!

Oh, and don’t bother commenting, those who will only try to tear me down, because I do not moderate my comments, and therefore do not read them before they are denied for being stupid, hateful, and ridiculous.

Posted on March 19, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 7 Comments
Holdin' Holden

About Holdin' Holden



  • milk allergy really? jordan has a milk allergy and the only way we knew that is because i am, and the day he was born, he had diarrhea, that’s all. obviously these people are just suggesting random stuff to maybe sound smarter than you. i think you are doing just fine, you don’t need my advice, most of the time i am asking you for yours! you are a great mom! anyone who would take time out of their day to call you out on something so absurd, is not your friend!

  • Thanks Katie! Obviously I don’t think I am mother of the year, or anything close, but I KNOW that 110% I am doing the right thing for my child. And that is confirmed by NINE doctors. These idiots can’t hold a candle to NINE doctors, I don’t care what they say. They’re morons and deserve nothing less than a verbal bashing.
    And seriously, I WILL sue if they continue the defamatory remarks any farther.I have family AND friends who are lawyers, and these bitches are SO far out of line it’s unreal.
    I don’t know when they will EVER understand the reality that we’ve been to HIGHLY recommended doctors and specialists and a GREAT children’s hospital (even if their “lists” don’t agree), and all have said the SAME thing. I’m going to go with them instead of morons who have NEVER gone through what i’ve gone through. I haven’t even force fed in DAYS because he’s been doing just fine on his own. I only do it when absolutely necessary, and i’d do it again in a heartbeat if I deemed it necessary. Because I am his mother and NO ONE ELSE. I know what is best. PERIOD. And it isn’t just me, it’s me and NINE doctors. Fucking morons.
    I could have gone off much worse, MUCH worse. But it wasn’t worth it.

    It’s SO clearly not a milk allergy that it’s laughable that someone would even suggest it, even after i’ve asked EVERY doctor if that could be a problem and every single one said absolutely NOT. Don’t you think, if it were a milk allergy, ONE of the doctors would have suggested it?? I would think so. These doctors, as much as I don’t like them, are not idiots. Maybe if only ONE had given me the opinion, but EVERY SINGLE ONE said the same thing. That means something right there.

  • marcus and jamesen had a milk allergy when they were little. They would eat and scream, not refuse to eat. as a mother who has experience with milk allergies AND a kid who refused to eat anything for weeks on end, I fully stand behind you jenny. you are doing the RIGHT thing by doing everything possible to keep your child healthy. You would be a terrible mother to ignore your child’s not eating. Honestly, if your kids not eating for weeks, how can you not do anything about it? how can you watch your kid dwindle away in front of you like that? It’s the worst feeling in the world. You’re scared out of your mind, frustrated, worried, feeling hopeless… it sucks. it’s not fun and it’s the worst feeling ever to see your kid sick and not be able to do anything about it!

  • I just want to add to anyone that reads this that I have been in Jenny’s home, met her children and seen what goes on first hand. Jenny is a GOOD MOTHER! Parker really is sick, really does scream for NO reason and Jenny is very very concerned. Not for show. Her boys are well taken care of in every way possible and loved so much. The Munchhausen by Proxy comment is just crazy. Jenny does the force feeding to avoid seeing doctors.
    Anyway, Jenny you are doing a great job! Keep doing all you can for Parker and keep sharing your thoughts with us! There are lots of people that actually care about you and your family. Give the boys a big hug from me! I hope things get better.

  • Thanks y’all.
    Here’s the thing people don’t get- I stopped force feeding when he started eating enough on his own to sustain healthy development. Which i’ve not said, didn’t feel the need to. I don’t have to relay EVERY tiny morsel of information on this blog just so people can get their facts straight. The fact is, it’s no one’s god damn business but mine. Period.
    Not to mention I was doing exactly what NINE doctors told me to when I was force feeding, which was because without it he would have eaten NOTHING, dehydrated, and been hospitalized. Why would I subject him to that if I had the opportunity to avoid it?

    No one, and I mean NO ONE has the right to judge me.
    It makes me physically sick that those stupid bitches are literally going OUT of their way to try and have Parker taken away from me.
    Get a fucking life you IDIOTS. yes, IDIOTS. and I hope that pisses you off. You are all worthless pieces of shit. Go take care of your own children and stop NEGLECTING them to harass me. I will sue. Don’t fucking try me again.

  • I could not believe all the insane comments on your Facebook. And to actually call CPS on you? CRAZY. I look at your pics of those boys and they look perfect. I can hardly tell Parker is even sick. It’s so strange and I pray that it gets figured out. He’s so lucky he has a mom who will lovingly do what she has to do to keep him healthy. Some kids don’t have that. I hope they leave it alone once they see that nothing is going to come from calling CPS when you are NOT harming your child. It’s just ridiculous.

  • or they’d be smart enough to know that filing a false claim with CPS is a Class A Misdemeanor in the least, and that I have no problem filing charges with CPS and filing defamation and harassment suits.