It’s a surreal moment in life when you feel like the words “You whipper snappers have it easy! I had to walk to school uphill, both ways in the snow 7 miles every day.. WITH NO SHOES!” are going to come out of your mouth at any moment.
Kids definitely have it easy and much more convenient. A variety of game consoles, CGI movies, cell phones, the internet sans dialup..
There is one area that I feel like they’re getting totally ripped off in though. And that is the cartoon department.
Seriously, what the hell ever happened to Saturday morning cartoons? And not just ONE channel, but 5 or 6. And not crappy cartoons that you only watch because nothing else is on, but ones you actually have been waiting for ALL week. ONE channel unless you really want to watch anime, or your cable provider is nice enough to provide Noggin. Mine is not. Stupid Cox.
What happened to cartoons in general?
When I was a kid, we had violence laced cartoons.. everything is watered down to the point of absurdity.. or the violence was removed and CRACK was added.
Where’s the quality? The REAL humor and not just stupid slapstick?
Rocko’s Modern Life, Ren & Stimpy, The Simpsons before it got lame and repetative and they still had Itchy & Scratchy beating each other bloody.
What the hell is this Yo Gabba Gabba crap? Are you TRYING to make my kid stupid? Why does the orange one look like a ribbed vibrator? Why does the host look like a Russian crack addict?
The worst part, worse than how insane it is, and annoyingly repetitive the music is (brain aneurysm worthy), is that kids EAT THAT CRAP UP! There has to be some kind of subliminal messaging in there. I’ve tried to watch it.. i’ve tried to let Holden watch it.. Can’t do it. Too painful. Do not want to rot my child’s brain at the tender age of 2.
Don’t even get me started on Boobah. It’s like a bad LSD trip. Can’t stop watching. Can’t tear your eyes away. The sound effects are enough to make anyone twitch uncontrollably for a week. And they all look like uncircumcised penises. Really hairy ones.
Dora. My nemesis. Ohhh how I loathe thee. WHERE are your parents?? How in the hell are you allowed to go traipsing around the friggin jungle with nothing more than a backpack and an annoying monkey? And WHY oh WHY do you ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL?? Have you not ever heard of an inside voice? We can hear you. I don’t need you yelling for 30 minutes straight about how “I DID IT!”
Seriously, cartoon fail. “Lucky” for me, Holden’s only cartoon obsession is Spongebob, and is you’ve ever watched Nickelodeon you’d know that Spongebob is about 50% of their programming schedule.
Spongebob is about to get a kick to his stupid spongy head. How many episodes can we really tolerate of boating school, arguing with the clearly homosexual Squidward, or trying to keep the secret formula from Plankton?
Throw me some variety before my head explodes!
I am weak pic.twitter.com/LYdRQ6EZcC
You know that feeling when you don't chew a chip all the way and it cuts you all the way down and you swear it's gonna kill you, but you go ahead have another right after? That's what it's like when you decide to have another kid.
For any parent who's ever had a kid who thinks they're more grown up than they are... and proves themselves wrong-- this story is for you holdinholden.com/2017/12/10-g…
@The_Mrs_Ward It's definitely a step out of the comfort zone but once you dip a toe in, it's hard to go back!
Out with the old, in with the pink! pic.twitter.com/plm0ogzPLf
10 Going on 20: The Spicy Chicken Story goo.gl/fb/qqm3FZ
'Tis the season to return a gift given to you and have the uncontrollable urge to buy more crap for your kids with the money.