After a little thinking about the pregnant ‘friend’ situation I mentioned in a previous blog, I came upon the realization that we’re NOT friends. We haven’t been friends in a long time. Maybe we never WERE friends.
Being a friend on Facebook or Myspace doesn’t make you REAL friends. It just gives people an excuse to forgo a real relationship in lieu of status updates. Makes you feel like you’re a part of their life without actually being a part of their life. Talk about the downfall of modern civilization and healthy relationships.
So I decided.. why should I care? Of course I care about the well being of any child, not just my own- it’s a mommy thing.. but this girl has shown no interest in my life for so long that I shouldn’t show any interest in hers or say anything to her. Not my place.
BUT- being that this is my blog, my territory.. I can unleash my thoughts here without any repercussions because I don’t have to name names. And chances are, if you feel if my thoughts COULD pertain to you, perhaps you should rethink your future parenting skills as well.
So this is what I would say to someone like her:
Babies are not toys. They are not accessories. You can’t just tote them around and show them off at your leisure. You can’t just shove them to the back of the closet when you get bored with them. You can’t hand them off to someone else when they’ve been screaming all day long and you feel like you’re going to snap. You can’t leave them at home alone while you go out and party, or go to your ever-so-glamorous job. They have needs, a LOT of needs, a lot of needs that will be YOUR responsibility and no one else’s.
They aren’t always fun and cute. They aren’t a walk in the park. They aren’t dolls that you can turn off. You shouldn’t wake them up at midnight to play with them- that’s breaking a cardinal baby rule.
Playing with someone else’s kid for an hour is NOTHING like having a child of your own to care for 24 hours a day.
You probably shouldn’t be spreading the news of your pregnancy around like herpes SO early in the pregnancy because God forbid you miscarry and then have to go through the horrible painstaking process of telling everyone that you lost it- especially since you have no idea how your body even handles being pregnant yet.
You can’t be a flake, and decide that you just don’t FEEL like feeding your kid or changing their diaper or caring for them for a day like you flake on your friends by never showing up when you say you will. Parenting requires responsibility and a hell of a lot of consistency. And you can’t expect all the sycophants who are acting like this is the greatest thing to ever happen to the world to pick up the slack all the time. Life doesn’t work that way. Babies don’t work that way.
No amount of research in the world I did before Holden prepared me for just how HARD and exhausting he was. I never expected him to have reflux and scream for 7 hours a night. And even though I thought NOTHING could be harder than Holden.. along came Parker and his mysterious sickness. Try that on for size.
Obviously i’m only going about the bad, and obviously there is good- but it’s just so much better to be prepared for the bad than good and way too many girls get pregnant thinking they can carry that baby around like a name brand purse and get compliments when that’s SO far from what it’s really like that they end up being shell shocked and freaking out.
I’ve been yelled at too many times for telling it like it is.. and that’s too damn bad. Why gloss over how hard it is? Pregnancy, labor, parenting.. all good, but all so hard. And i’m sick of people doing it just because everyone else is doing it without putting any thought into the fact that they will soon be in the care of a living breathing human being who relies on them and only them to survive. Makes me sick.
That’s my .02, and i’m stickin’ to it. Everyone needs a reality check every now and then: GROW UP. It was about damn time anyway, but especially now.
And on that note, I think I will be doing some spring cleaning of my Facebook “friends”, I don’t feel comfortable with people having an inside look on my life without ever giving a shit otherwise. And i’m sick of reading about peoples lives that I so adamantly don’t agree with or approve of. Pointless.
I've gotten to the point where I'd let my kids summon a demon with a Ouija board before I'd let them play Monopoly together again.
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