The things we do for our kids..

As mothers, there are so many sacrifices we have to make that no one else can sympathize with unless they’ve been through it themselves.
The obvious would be our bodies (not just in weight gain and saggy weirdness, but skin, hair, boobs, lots of ladies get varicose veins. True story), our freedom, and our sanity for the most part. And the majority of parents I know give up most, if not all of their social lives. I no longer have one that exists outside of the internet and occasional playdates.

There are of course other things that you give up without even realizing you did so. Without even caring. Things you NEVER thought you’d so willingly let go of, or gracefully drift away from.. just because your life feels so full with your new addition that you don’t seem to notice anything else (and it’s hard to hear ANYTHING over all the screaming).

The main thing I ‘sacrificed’ would be my music. Before Holden came along I was a professional musician. I toured, I played shows, recorded CDs the whole deal.For over 7 years that was my entire life. And as soon as I got pregnant, I didn’t even think of picking up a guitar anymore. It wasn’t like I was sad about it, so I can’t honestly call it a sacrifice I made, my priorities just changed. It didn’t seem important anymore. That was a completely different chapter of my life. I could easily still play guitar, I have 4 of them sitting in my bedroom… I just don’t really have the desire to do it.
My life is my kids, and really, even with all the stress I go through because of them, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Everything you give up is all worth it- even if it doesn’t seem like it at first, once you’re holding your baby that’s the ONLY thing you want to be doing from that point on. I can’t imagine being away from them to play shows late at night.. and no way in hell could I leave them to go on tour.

The only thing I have to gripe about is the “mommy pooch”, the lifeless boobs, and the muffin top that now once again sits atop my hips (after all the work I did to get rid of it after Holden.) All of that will be changed soon (I hope) with time, and i’ll go back to being a blissful happy mommy once again.

On a completely unrelated note: A question for the fellow moms.
What do you do, what do you say when you find out the person you think is the absolute least capable and responsible of ever being able to care for a child on their own gets pregnant? Do you keep your mouth shut? Or lie and pretend to be happy for them?
One thing I have NEVER been able to do is gloss over a situation I disapprove of. I don’t think i’m actually capable of being happy for this person because of how they’ve acted in the past and how completely irresponsible of a life they’ve always lead. I realize that some people can change their ways when presented with this kind of situation.. but I don’t see that happening. And it’s not like this girl has been an active participant in my life since I gave birth to Holden. Just in and out as she pleased, and didn’t even bother congratulating me on Parker or even saying a WORD to me since I was a few months pregnant. I guess I sort of answered my own question: if she doesn’t even act like she gives a flying fart about my life, why say anything about hers? I’m just very protective over children even when they aren’t my own, and I worry about the welfare of her impending baby even if she doesn’t care about mine. I can’t help but to wonder if she’ll change, and all the people in her life are just sycophants and probably won’t give her any REAL useful advice. I probably just won’t say anything.. but if she does happen to say something to me I won’t exactly be able to hide my disapproval and concern. Maternal instinct at its finest.

Ah well, life happens!

Posted on February 20, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 1 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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1 Comment

  • So the person in your blog who is pregnant, do I know her? Because if its who I think it may be then I feel the same way and don’t think you should gloss it over.

    Also, your family has been on my mind a lot lately and we’ve been praying for Parker. Let me know if you need anything. I am not terribly useful right now but I am getting there. ♥