Being sick sucks. There’s no two ways about it. NO ONE (other than hypochondriacs) wants or likes being sick. Especially not when you either have a full time job that will doc your pay for missing (or threaten to fire you repeatedly even if you have doctors notes like my job used to do to me).. or two small children to take care of.
I got mega-pooped on by having my entire family being sick all at once (add my Dad to the list now).. because it’s hard enough dealing with a psychotic toddler and a needy infant. Add BOTH of them being sick, and it’s hell. Both of them being sick PLUS me being sick? I feel like dying. Exhaustion, frustration, irritation.
My main issue currently is my nose. it either won’t stop boogering all over the place when I have a baby asleep in my arms.. or it will go the complete opposite direction and COMPLETELY stop up to the point where my head starts to throb from booger overload in my sinuses. And if I have a baby asleep in my arms.. or even asleep across the room, I can’t unplug the stupid thing… as if it will unplug anyways. If I suck in, it makes a loud horrendous noise that would wake the dead. Even louder if I try to blow it, which is seriously pointless because nothing comes out. That doesn’t stop me from trying, because I absolutely can’t stand to breathe through my mouth like a pedophile freak (plus it cracks my lips).
And then there’s the coughing.. oohhh the coughing. I suppose it’s more the URGE to cough than the coughing itself. Just like the sucking and blowing of the boogers, I don’t want to cough while there’s a kid sleeping.. and there’s almost always ONE kid sleeping.. so I try to ignore the cough, thinking that maybe if I pretend that itch in the back of my throat isn’t there, it will give up and leave me alone.
Yeah….. no. It’s a miserable feeling not being able to cough. Like almost sneezing and someone yelling “BROWN COW!” and suddenly you can’t sneeze but still feel like you need to for the next two hours, but worse, of course. Always worse.
I need everyone to feel better, STOP whining, stop snotting all over the place and coughing all over EVERYTHING.. because it’s just making more work for me when I have to decontaminate this entire damn house from RSV germs so once it’s gone, it’s gone for GOOD.
The “Are You Ready to Have Kids?” Checklist of Doom goo.gl/fb/DTPJ1A
If anyone asks how I died, you can just go ahead and tell them "she was lured in by free pie in exchange for listening to 2nd graders screech Thanksgiving songs for 30 minutes"
Half-Assed Jingler Syndrome goo.gl/fb/McWfBy
@ItsEvieClaire Booze and tears
I'm not saying this is the perfect #Christmas gift for all the parents in your life, but.... okay, yeah I am. That's exactly what I'm saying. Truths from the bowels of parenthood! amazon.com/Kids-Are-Turds…
@Gofashiondeals All of that and more. Good times. Gooooood times