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Spiteful Sickness

Four pediatrician appointments with 2 different doctors, 3 nebulizer treatments, 2 clear chest Xrays, 2 RSV swabs, one blood culture, multiple 02 level checks, countless hours spent in an 8X12 room waiting for answers, one round of antibiotics, a referral to a pulmonologist and a round of steroids, and after over FOUR weeks of being sick- Parker’s RSV swab came back positive today. Shock of a lifetime.
HOW has he been sick for over 4 weeks, was just tested for RSV less than a week ago.. yet it comes up positive today?

I guess you’re all assuming I should be relieved. This means we have an answer to all the problems… doesn’t it? I don’t really know.
The window for RSV is typically 4-6 weeks at the longest. Most kids have it for about two weeks.. most kids test positive in the beginning, most kids are better by now. We’re passing the 4 week mark, and only JUST tested positive. Does this mean he just had something ELSE before and now, suddenly, developed RSV and could be sick for another 5 weeks?
I really don’t think, and I hate to say it, but I really don’t think he can survive that.

At his 3 month appointment, he was in the 50-75th percentile for weight. Since that time, he has gained NO weight. Since last week, he has lost weight.
Other moms have been trying to make me feel better by saying I shouldn’t compare Parker to Holden (who was at least 7 lbs heavier at this age and HUGE by any standards)- that maybe he’ll just be a skinny kid..
And if he were eating well, I might have to agree. He isn’t, though.
A month ago, at 3 months old, he was eating 5.5 ounces every 2.5-3.5 hours. Pretty good amount. Now, at over 4 months, his eating has decreased to where we are literally force feeding him every single hour. We’re lucky if we get ONE ounce in him. We’re lucky if he keeps that ounce down. From over 30 ounces a day to being lucky if we get 10? From the 50-75th percentile to the 10th, in under a month??

That’s not ok. And when we realized this morning that he’d hardly eaten ANYTHING in two days, we decided he couldn’t wait to go to the doctor until tomorrow. And why go to a WELL-Baby check up when he isn’t WELL?
Somehow, although they told us we wouldn’t be able to be seen until 3:45pm (which was NOT acceptable to me), we got squeezed in at 11:15am.
We spent over 3 hours there, with two sick kids (Holden, who she sort of looked at for free). More tests, more Xrays.. All of which came back perfect. Once again, those words smacked me in the face “It’s bronchiolitis, for sure”
Thomas gives her a puzzled look, “Well, doesn’t have have to have RSV to have bronchiolitis? The last screen came back negative”
Which was true, and a good, valid question. His health HAS gotten worse over the past few days. There’s definite congestion somewhere in his throat, he’s having wet coughs, not eating.. So SOMETHING changed. We couldn’t totally rule out RSV before, but why NOW? Why if he already came back negative for it would we be assuming it is RSV again?
She actually used (she being our REGULAR pediatrician) the “If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck..” analogy with us, but to be positive did a swab.

I was positive it would come back negative. It just didn’t make sense to SUDDENLY test positive for it when he’s been sick for SO long. When he didn’t get this cough until a few days ago after HOLDEN started coughing first.
Well, obviously I was wrong.. because it IS RSV. And our pediatrician thinks it always has been RSV.. but was just in the acute stages during the past appointments. What the hell does that mean?? Is he going to get WORSE now, or better??
And not only does Parker have RSV, but Holden does too.. and most likely Thomas and I as well. Only it effects different ages in different ways. Obviously, almost every sickness but chicken pox is more deadly for a small child. When I thought one of them was getting better? They weren’t. They’ve both been sick this entire time and at times just didn’t seem like it (at least Holden didn’t.)

Even still, our pediatrician, like everyone else- is totally confused as to how Parker is so happy. How his chest x-ray is clear. How his 02 levels are so good. How he’s sleeping through the night (although he doesn’t seem to want to sleep right now at ALL, when he should have been asleep 30 minutes ago.. so we’ll see if i’ll be eating my words there). None of it really adds up.. and ALL of it worries me.
I’ll be totally candid in that I worry he’s going to get dehydrated and have to be hospitalized.. or worse. I don’t know HOW he isn’t dehydrated in the slightest, and how he isn’t hospitalized now with how little he’s eating. And I don’t know WHY the pediatrician isn’t concerned with the fact that not only is he not eating, but he has LOST weight.

At first glance, Holden seems the most sick. That kid is absolutely MISERABLE. Coughing, snotting, fever, loss of appetite, just generally feeling unwell and unhappy..
but Parker is the worst effected by all of this crap. I hate it.

As i’ve mentioned before, I am NOT used to having a sick baby. Holden was NEVER sick. Not even a runny nose. Not once. Not until he was about a year old.
In a way I feel like i’m getting bit in the ass because of that fact. Sure, Holden was whiny and miserable because of reflux all the time- but he was healthy as a damn horse. And while I would NEVER say this back then- I would SO much rather Parker be whiny and miserable because of reflux than be THIS sick. Holden’s was more of a nuisance than a concern.. and this is BEYOND concerning.

I just want to wake up tomorrow and have my baby be ok. Both my babies. Maybe even me, since I feel like i’ve been hit by a damn bus.

Moral of the story? How the hell did I put butterscotch morsels in my brownies and we’re over halfway through the tray and haven’t come across a single one?? NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE! It’s all a damn mystery, and it’s PISSING ME OFF.


Posted on February 2, 2010 by Holdin' Holden 1 Comment
Holdin' Holden

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1 Comment

  • ok that last paragraph made me crack up. That really is worrisome about parker. But the dr’s with marcus did’t bat an eyelash that he had lost 3 lbs in 5 days either so I think that dr’s are just idiots. period.